I guess there are some benefits to not being able to sleep because you're being haunted by thoughts of Mr. Dog Park and how fabulous your life would have been if only....sigh....if only things were different, completely and totally different.
So, I'm lying there at 5:30 in the morning frustrated and utterly exhausted by my own mind and how I'm going round and round and round and round in circles when ...
...from out of nowhere comes this absolutely fabulous idea for a book. Not the first idea. Not that book. I couldn't get past the first three lines. You know, the same line written three times over. The idea had been done, like, a million times before. It's too "While You Were Sleeping" mixed with a little "Grey's Anatomy". And I couldn't make it work. It didn't say what I wanted it to say. The title was awesome, the idea was not. Well, maybe it was awesome the first time.
However, this idea is better. Way better, if I do say so myself.
It's still in the 'rough' stages, but...
It's about this woman, Georgia Madison, who gets pregnant at 16 and gives the baby up for adoption. When she's 20, she becomes a surrogate to make money for university. The next 15 years are filled with surrogacy after surrogacy as she tries to sooth the pain from the loss of her first baby all those years ago. It's like penance for her soul. Now, she's 50...she's been told she's going to die, so she invites all her children over all the decades so she can meet them for the first time.
It's a book I can write. It's a story I can tell. It's all in my head. It's there! I just have to get it out on paper so everyone else can read it!
I think I'm depressed because I'm an artist, and my artistry is being stifled.
Fingers crossed I don't lose inspiration.