|Q on his 8th birthday|
I check my blog on a daily basis to see my stats. Especially on the days I've blogged. You see, someday I hope to make it big as a writer, a blogger. I want people to quote my inspiration on Pinterest and laugh about how hilarious I am on Jay Leno (is he even still alive? I'm in bed by 9:30 every night these days, so I remember when SNL was still funny.) One day it will happen. I just have to swallow my fear of failure and believe in myself. My mother says I'm sitting on my ASSets...emphasis on the ASS.
It's always funny to see how well the posts do, usually based solely on the title. For example, I recently posted about "The Sparrows and the Wasps" thinking it was a funny take on the whole "Birds and Bees" thing, because sparrows are birds, and wasps are just as scary as bees. Only ten people read it. You guys were probably all, "booooooor-ing...who wants to read about sparrows???" But everyone really missed out, because (ahem, if I do say so myself) it was one of the best posts from me, lately. And it had a good moral ending. Who can resist something like that??
Posts that are entitled, "Q-isms" are always really high, of course because everyone thinks my little gem is just as fabulous as I do. Recently, we were listening to the radio when a singer had the crowd sing a few lines of the song. He was so funny, "Doesn' the singer realize people don't want to listen to the crowd sing...they're paying good money to listen to the singer. They're getting ripped off." He might have something there. Maybe we should ask for a refund for the portion of the song the singer didn't sing. I told him people like hearing the crowd sing because it makes them feel like part of the action, part of something bigger than themselves. He didn't really buy it.
Post with pictures that I've stolen from Google (and then of course, have attributed to Google. Of course.) go through the roof. This is always, always super disappointing, because I think that I've finally done it, I've said what the masses want to hear!!!! I'm going to be famous!!!! People love SingleDatingMommy!!!!! But no no, people are just googling 'images of gansters' and up pops my blog (true story...one of my most famous posts is called, "What are you Wearing" and it's about being gansta. Yo yo wassssup. I've since stopped including pictures unless they're mine. I don't like the let down. No one looks for a picture of a "hot italian guy", stumbles upon my blog, and then becomes an avid follower. I know, they're missing out. You know they're missing out. I just can't make them stay.
As you've noticed, I might just start using "Q-isms" in every title. You guys are smarter than that though, you'll figure it out soon enough.
But I guess insulting my readers is not a good way to increase readership, right??