I've been battling a sore back these past 2 weeks. It's been super frustrating because it's constant pain and I can get no relief (let alone satisfaction...hahaha). Breathing hurts, sitting hurts, standing hurts, lying down hurts. Sometimes the pain shoots down my left leg, sometimes it throbs in sync with my heart beat, but it is always a constant pain.
I went to my chiropractor who usually makes me so, so happy but it just seems he's made me worse. I went to the doctor and he gave me all these hard core drugs - but the side effects were worse than the pain and they didn't even manage to dull the pain, so I stopped taking them. I'd rather have a sore back and no shits than a sore back and the shits. The pills were only successful in making me so stoned I didn't care if my back hurt anymore, as I ran to the loo. I also went to a massage therapist (who also happens to work with the Vancouver Whitecaps) and he gave some temporary relief, but holy moly, back pain is horrible.
I'm now into my second week. I long for after work when I can take a Tylenol 3, not having to worry about being coherent, and plug in my electric heating pad. I think this officially counts as being old.
The most frustrating thing is I cannot think of one specific incident that caused the pain, it just kind of crept up on me. I now feel bad for all the times I suspected my employees were lying when they had a *sore back* - right? Like we can't see the pain, so it's not there. I still suspect some of them were trying to scam the system, but whatever, I can't prove it, right? Oh, and my pain threshold is very low, I suspect.
The one thing that my doctor, chiropractor and massage therapist all agree on is that the route cause of all this pain is most likely the fact that I gave birth to a 10lb 6oz baby eight years ago. One of them (and they're all men, btw) likened it to a 'wrecking ball' smashing through my girly bits and beyond (latter words mine, not his - that would just be creepy...), another compared it to delivering a butterball turkey. To this day, when I hear pregnant women say, "Oh my doctor says my baby weighs blah, blah, blah..." it angers me to no end. I was so big, strangers on the street would tell me I was huge and ask if I was having twins. I had no neck for crying out loud. Yet, MY prenatal doctor told me that there's no real way to tell how big a baby is...and then AFTER the baby was born said, "Geez, if we had known he was going to be that big we would have done a c-section. It would have been way less intrusive." I must have had the only doctor in the lower mainland who did not know of a little thing called an "Ultrasound".
I wonder if I can sue?
Suffice it to say, I am not even remotely tempted to have any more children in the next 20 years. This is good, because it looks as though I will also not find a willing partner anytime within the next 20 years either. See, everything works out in the end, right?
So, Q hearing that he is the cause of my pain now...says....
"At least it was worth it, right mommy?"
And then about 10 minutes later...
"Eight years later, and I'm still coming back to haunt you."
Ahhhhhahahahahaha, he's a comedian.
However, he did offer to keep an eye out for any of the multiple side effects the pharmacist rattled off. He really is thoughtful like that.