Yes I AM the Boss of You

I had a dream the other night that I was living in an institution for unfit mothers.  Me and Q, we lived there together.  I had just had my hearing and the review panel ruled that I needed to stay another year.  A whole year.  So we went back to my room...which turned out to be my office at work...with no furniture in it.  Everything was grey and white.  And I was stuck there for another year.  Because I sucked at being a mom.

I'm not gonna lie...it's not really so far from how I'm feeling right now. 

My child has decided that he's going to go through a super annoying phase where he pushes all the buttons and tests all the boundaries every. single. day.  I'm not kidding.  There hasn't been a day in the past two weeks that I haven't had to discipline him for something he's done.  This is completely out of the norm, because my kid is usually a really, really good kid.  Everyone talks about the terrible two's, but no one ever, ever mentioned the sinister six-almost seven's.  I feel completely unprepared. 

I make him something for breakfast and he refuses to eat it.  Then, after I've told him there is nothing until lunch, I have to chase him around the house and pry food out of his hands.  He whines incessantly.  He asks the same question over and over and over again..."Can I get a new toy?" "No." "Can I get a new toy?" "No." "Can I get a new toy?" "No." "Can I get a new toy?" "No."  He talks back.  He says "No" to me when I ask him to do something.  He calls me fat.  He says, "you're not the boss of me..."  Like, do they teach kids these things at school?  How do they all know these phrases?  I think we as parents need to sit in a class every once in a while, just to find out what's really going on in there...

I've given him time outs (where he yells at me the whole time), taken away video game privileges, cancelled an evening out to the movies to watch "Cars 2" which I really, really wanted to see, so I was super bummed about that one.  Sometimes he just gets me so worked up, I just have to leave the room and give myself a time out so I don't hurt him.  I was talking with a girlfriend who says that when her daughter starts acting out she just hugs her and kisses her because she knows that if she doesn't hug her, she's gonna hit her.  So she uses the hug to remind herself how much she really loves her little bundle of trouble. 

Of course, if I really truly thought that his behavior was a direct reflection on my parenting, I wouldn't be blogging about it right now out of sheer embarrassment.  I would guess, though, that I'm not completely blameless.  Sometimes when we're in the middle of a "why not/because" argument I ask myself, "Why not?"  Just give in.  So he doesn't want Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast, throw them out and make him waffles.  It would be sooooo much easier.  So he wants another two dollar Hot Wheels car.  Two dollars isn't going to break the bank.  Who cares if he has two hundred cars already?  It's self preservation and it only costs two dollars!!!!  Do I really need to win all the time? 

Well, yes.  Yes, I do.  Most of the time anyways.  I guess I don't buy him the Lego Ninjago (which forever I thought he was saying Kilimanjaro - as in the mountain, and I kept wondering why he wanted me to buy him a friggen mountain.  When did I become the uncool parent who didn't know about things like Bey Blades and silly bandz and Lego Ninjagos....I used to be totally up on all the brand names.) I don't buy him these things all the time because I don't want him to be one of those adults who expects everything to just be given to him because he hasn't worked for anything.  Same with the cereal.  It might not seem like a huge deal now, but in ten years time, it might come back to bite me in the ass. 

For the meantime, it's not so fun being around me and Q.  My mom left the house the other morning amidst me yelling and Q whining.  I keep praying it's a phase.  I keep praying it gets better.  But then I remember that pre-teens are just around the corner, and then testosterone is waiting just beyond that.  Where did my baby go?  My baby, who's bum fit perfectly in my hand when I carried him around; who's beautiful blonde curls bounced when he ran. My baby is going into grade two.  *Sob*

I guess this means I should stop doing up his seat belt for him.  He can probably dress himself too, right? 

I think I'll just pour another glass of wine!

cute lil chubby toddler :)

Arbonne

So, I've had an interesting few weeks at work.  As many of you know, and it's probably news to others of you, my work place has been shut down due to a labour dispute for the past three - almost four weeks.  While I'm usually quite vocal about stuff like this, especially because it affects me directly, I wish to not use my blog as a political soap box.  I have very strong opinions on the matter, but I don't want to piss off any employees who may read my blog (you never know...and one can hope) or any managers just itching to fire someone.  Suffice it to say, I wish everyone would just go back to work so I don't have to sit in another training class that I've already sat in on five to seven times and am technically qualified to teach (although...oh, never mind). 

I have no control over my job right now.  It's disconcerting, and I think that's why I um...yelled at my trainer today.  It was more of a tangent really.  In my head, I kept hearing this voice (mine) that was saying, "Shut up.  Stop talking.  Shut up."  But I just kept going while everyone else in the class was staring at me.  I blame PMS.  And uncertainty.  And frustration.  And helplessness.

Anyways, I do have a point.  Wouldn't it be awesome if we had control over our circumstances - how much time we work, being able to pick our kiddies up at school, basically writing our own paychecks every month?  It sounds like a dream, doesn't it?  And who wants a dream that isn't attainable? You know...aim for the moon, and you'll fall among the stars...blah, blah, blah.

My BFF has been selling Arbonne for almost 6 months now, and she is rocking the party.  Literally and figuratively.  I figured I should get myself a piece of the pie and so I took the plunge.  It's a difficult decision for me, because right now I'm really comfortable where I am, and so it's hard to visualize being in a place even better.  I like my job (when I'm there).  There are going to be many, many opportunities in the future which is really exciting.  My wage allows me to live comfortably.  Plus, I'm like a total product junkie so how can I commit to just one product line?  I can't sell Arbonne while wearing MAC, right?  Would you buy a McDonald's hamburger from an employee you see eating Wendy's behind the counter?  Nope, probably not.

The thing is...these products are amazing.  A-maz-ing!!  I've been using the Clear Advantage for months now, and just started using their FC line for a night cream.  Their make up is light weight and has super duper coverage - my skin looks positively dewy!!

I get that I'm only going to get as much out of this as I put in.  Network Marketing has this stigma attached to it - "Pyramid Scheme" is the reaction I get the most.  Okay - a pyramid scheme is when I try to illegally trick some poor sap into buying a faulty product (or no product at all) and then run for the hills.  I am selling a product that I believe in - it has no parabens to preserve it. Do you know the links they're making between parabens and cancer?  It's scary.  Check your make up ingredients...what's the number one ingredient?  Arbonne uses all natural products.  And they've been around for 30 years.  Donald Trump advocates for direct or network marketing saying it's the best way to get products out there.  You think it's a scheme?  That's your problem. I'm not here to convince you otherwise.  I'm here to look pretty and sell some make up.  Did you know that the majority of anti-aging products contain mineral oil which is actually number two only to the sun when it comes to premature aging?  Did you know that?  Did you?  I knew it!!!  You didn't.

I did my first party last week, and I have another one this weekend.  I have two more parties booked in July and am waiting for two more gals to pick a date that works for them.  I think I'm going to puke.  I have no idea how I'm going to pull this off.

Phew.

Okay, I feel better.  I'm totally going to pull this off.  I am going to show all those nay-sayers that Arbonne products are incredible.  They speak for themselves.  I am going to throw parties like nobody's business.  I'm going to see my ass off.  I'm going to drive a white Mercedes. 

Okay?  Okay. 

Okay...

Do you want more info on Arbonne?  You can check out http://www.arbonne.ca/ or give me a shout at catherine(dot)miller(at)live(dot)ca  You won't regret it!!

Disneyland

I'm not going to lie...I had to check out this blog before I wrote anything.  I kind of forgot what it looks like.  That being said, I've been super duper busy...and out of the country...which is an awesome excuse, right?

So, Disneyland....is Awesome!!!  We had so, so much fun.  I told Q that was our only goal...and we totally succeeded.  There was no stress.  There was no getting lost.  There was no fighting or misbehaving.  There was only fun. 

Disneyland is incredible.  Every single ride is like being in the middle of a movie.  I'm not so crazy about crazy rides (something about an irrational fear of dying on a roller coaster when it unexpectedly becomes disconnected from the rest of the cars and you plummet to your....well, you get the idea)  But I figure that no one ever dies at Disneyland, so we might as well throw caution to the wind, fear out the door and go on all the crazy rides.  We did Space Mountain (Q cried the whole ride...), we did California Screamin', we did the Haunted House and Pirates of the Caribbean (amazing!) and Indiana Jones (fabulous getting rescued by Harrison Ford, I must say!)  We saw Goofy, and Mickey, and Pluto, and Mr. Incredible and Chip (Dale was late for work....)  It was like walking through the door into a magical world...which I get is the whole idea.  But forget living there, I want to work there!

Every single employee at Disneyland knows what's going on.  Not one employee says "That's not my job" (ala Home Depot tonight) or "Well, it should be right there (as an Air Canada agent did the other day - to which I replied, "If it were right there, I wouldn't be asking, now would I?)  You ask any employee where the nearest washroom is, and they all know!  You need to know where Splash Mountain is, ask any employee and they will tell you.  No question is met with rolling eyes or ummmms and ahhhhhhs. 

They have thought of everything.  In addition to educating their employees (Shocking!  Revolutionary!) they have strategically placed water fountains exactly where you feel thirsty.  You need a restroom?  There is one within 25 feet.  There are big trees for shade and umbrellas while you're waiting in line for the coolest ride ever.  There are employees who just stand there waiting for you to ask a question.  There are employees just waiting to lead you in the right direction.

Disneyland should be a business model for companies around the world.  Disneyland does not scrimp on anything.  They don't say, "Oh, we're gonna cut costs by not having fireworks tonight."  No...they do fireworks to the nines....and everyone comes out to see them.  Everything Disney does, it does 150%.  My only complaint?  Not a decent cuppa coffee anywhere in Disneyland.  Those dudes need to sign an agreement with Starbucks and then all I can say is 'Heaven on Earth!!!'

I want to be a brain stormer for Disneyland.  They're called Imaginateurs (my employee is reading a book about Walt Disney).  I want to be one!  Take, for instance, The Little Mermaid....they have shells placed in the cement that you're standing on for 20 minutes while you're in line.  Every employee has a different uniform based on their ride...and the Captain's uniform for Finding Nemo in the Submarine is totally different from the Captain's uniform for Star Tours.  It was phenomenal!

So, before bed the first night, Q says to me....

"Mommy, we have to make sure we go to the castle where all the characters live."

Me:  Which characters?

Q:  The ones that live at Disneyland.  I want to see their bedrooms.

Me:  Oh honey, they're not real.  They're just pretend.

Q:  No.  Daddy told me that they live in a castle at Disneyland.

Me:  Honey, I'm sorry.....

He was quiet for about 5 minutes.

Q:  Then what's the point?

Not one to shatter a child's innocence while at the happiest place on earth...I admitted defeat and pointed out a castle I'd never seen before, which I was sure the characters from Disneyland laid their pretty heads every single night.

Q will have memories of this that will last a lifetime.  Happy memories.  I kept telling Q that I was so happy to be able to share this with him. 

Two of the greatest things about my trip to Disneyland...Walking past couples bickering back and forth - 'Well, you said this...' 'No, you said...' Blah, blah, blah.  Me and Q...we don't bicker.  Second?  Walking past parents with toddlers in the middle of a temper tantrum.  We'd just look at each other and smile, decide which ride to go on next, and I would practically skip to the next ride. 

And of course, the greatest thing about our trip....

just bein' goofy (and pluto!)

best catch ever! can you see his little hat?

goofy's gas station

we rode that.  oh yes. we. did.

one tired goofy