Saturday, October 2, 2010

Single Mommy's Survival Guide to Night Shift (while lookin' Fabulous)

I have this theory about 4:00 in the morning - If no one was awake at 4:00 in the morning , it wouldn't exist.  It's like the whole 'if a tree falls in the forest' thing.  But then someone would inevitably 'discover' 4:00am and then they'd be all popular and make tonnes of money out of it, and so this is why we have four in the morning and why I have to be awake for it and why I'm at work. 

I'm not going to lie.  It's really not that bad.  There's nothing quite like driving home on a Monday morning  at 8:00am while everyone is driving to work.  I think they call that poetic justice.  My weekend starts at 8:00am on Friday morning, while all those other sucka's out there still have 8 hours to go before they get to experience freedom like that.  My lil Q is super happy that his momma gets to pick him up every day, and that smile makes the I'm-so-tired-I'm-delirious worth it.  Seriously, the other day I grabbed a coffee filter to put my cookies in instead of a ziploc bag.

And because I've been through a whole week of night shift, I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert, so here is my "How to survive the gravy's and look fabulous doing it"

1.  Sleep.  Like whenever you can.  Even if it's on the elevator from the first floor to the fourth.  Eventually, it'll have to add up to eight hours, and then you're good to go.  There's lots of 2 minute opportunities out there...while peeing, for instance. 

2.  Stay, Don't Stray by Benefit Cosmetics

This stuff is awesome.  If I didn't use this, I'd look like a raccoon about half way through the shift.  It seriously works.  It keeps your make up where it should be, like nothing I've ever tried before.  It's a little bit expensive ($30.00 for 10 ml) but's worth it. 

3.  I love, love, love bold eye make up.  I've got it all - pink, purple, teal, green...vibrant, sparkly colours.  However, I'm sticking to the soft, shimmery colours for the night shift.  In my humble opinion, they make your eyes look bigger and make you look more awake.  Dark makes you look sleepy. 

4.  Also from Benefit Cosmetics is the fabulous Erase Paste which I've blogged about before, but this stuff gets rid of under eye circles like nobody's business.  It's da bomb, baby.

Ha ha, I'm having flashbacks to when I started in the airline industry and we had a full day's training on grooming "If your tired, it's amazing what a little blush and a nice bright red lip stick can do to brighten you up."  Which by the way, I still adhere to.  It's truly is amazing what a little blush can do.  Words to live by, folks, words to live by.  We also had to match our lipstick to our nail polish and bring our patent leather shoes in to be 'approved' before we wore them.  But I digress....

5. No coffee after 3:00am kids.  If you want to sleep during the day, make sure you stay away from the caffeine.  And that's big from me, cause I just love my java.

6.  Eat light.  A sandwich, a salad, some fruit.  The alternative is cookies and chocolate and pastries and candies...which we all know is sooooo much yummier, but it goes straight to you hips.  If I'm not careful, I'm gonna be like 400lbs in less than a year.  It totally doesn't help that the supervisor I'm 'paired' with is a 6 ft 3 in italian hottie who works out at the gym like 8-9 times per week.  Seriously.  He's more beautiful than any woman I've met.  And his eyebrows are more manicured than mine.  It's a little intimidating.  Helps me keep everything in check, ya know?

7.  Quit smoking (no, I've not done this yet...but...).  I've noticed that when I smoke, I feel 10 times more tired within about 5 minutes.  Ya, ya, I know this has something to do with the whole sucking oxygen from your blood, but blah, blah, blah.  But seriously, I'm yawning, my eyes start drooping, my head starts throbbing.  A hint?  Perhaps.

And if all else fails, just smile.  It's near impossible to look tired with a smile on your face. 


  1. lol... that post made me smile... I'm tellin ya... I have done some of my best sleeping in 2 minute intervals... I have two lovely gravies approaching this friday and saturday.... im really looking forward to that... NOT : )

  2. I've worked my share of grave shift but the worst was being pregnant while on grave shift. Most women are tired anyway when they are preggers, but this was torture. I got pulled over on the way to work because I was yawning so much my car was weaving. Very embarrassing to be six months pregnant and have some young boy with a badge ask what I'd been drinking. (Milk, if you must know, and does your mother know you are out this late?)

    So you managed to bring all this back after I'd tried so hard to bury the memories in the 90% of the brain we don't use. :)

    Good job. And good luck with the new shift.

  3. Aw Melanie...I'm so sorry. I was working night shift too, when I found out I was pregnant. I had no clue for almost two months that I was growin' a bun, partly because I was always tired, feeling crappy and had no appetite...

    And it was around Christmas...I couldn't figure out why I kept getting food poisoning from all the parties I was going to and NO ONE else was...

    Ahhhh, flashbacks...