What's Pissing Me Off This Week

Why yes, yes it is that time again.  Surprise, surprise.  Interestingly enough, I have more views with my *What's Pissing Me off* than any other post I write.  This must mean that you guys like seeing me pissed off.  Or maybe you relate.

 

So, what is pissing me off this week?

 

The Skytrain. 

 

Yup public transit.  Like I am pissed off to the point that I want to write a letter to the Skytrain gods and tell them just how mad I am.  Maybe I will.  Maybe this is my trial run.

 

I have seen everything on the Skytrain.  People having sex, drunk people throwing up, oh my goodness, once I saw a homeless man (I assume he was homeless because he smelled horrid and had a garbage bag full of pop cans, etc) doing stripper moves on the poles people use to hold onto so they don't fall over.  Seriously, he was gyrating. 

 

Today was a perfect example of how my Skytrain rides usually go...

 

This morning, actually get a seat.  Beside a really smelly guy.  Like stale beer and smokes and b.o. (yes it's unpleasant, but this isn't *what made me super happy today*).  Anyways, I'm just happy I have a seat.  It's easier to use my iPhone, drink my extra large double double (Canadian for coffee double cream, double sugar) and hold my computer bag and lunch bag.  About half way through my ride, this old lady gets on.  She's got a mask on and is missing huge clumps of hair, so I'm thinking she's going through chemo and no one offers her their seat.  In fact, people are purposely avoiding contact because it's obvious she a) needs a seat and b) is actively looking for a place to sit down.  Of course, because I'm a super nice person, I call her over to where I'm sitting and give her my seat.  She looked so grateful.  So, I stand near a bar so I'm not flung across the train when it stops.  This girl keeps creepin' up on my space to the point where I actually have my arm around her so I can hold on to the bar.  Get this...she glares at me, like I'm invading her space. 

 

But wait.  It gets better.

 

Without a word of lie, I had decided to do this post before my ride home.  I almost started laughing out loud like a crazy woman while on the Skytrain because it was almost vindication - like I'm not wrong for being pissed off about this.

 

Luck would have it that I found a seat on the uber packed train on the way home.  The very next stop, this guy walks on.  He's grossly overweight, his pants are cinched underneath his every ample gut and his fly is open.  The guy stands right in front of me.  He stinks.  Like he hasn't showered in a week and just went on eating/drinking/smoking binge - actually, if I'm being super honest - he smells like a fart.  A serious fart.  He keeps coughing, too and I can feel the germs landing on me.  I can feel it.  So, I'm trying not to stare at the unzipped crotch right in front of me.  But it's at eye level.  And every time the Skytrain stops, he's lurched forward and his gut comes within inches of my nose.  As the train gets fuller it gets to the point where his one thigh is resting on my arm.  His other thigh, touching my knee.  That belly...right in my face.   It's intimate.  To say the least. 

 

But then I'm distracting by this loud high pitched noise.  I look over the train trying to figure out where it's coming from and I can see this huge guy sitting in a scooter, by the door.  He has his face covered by his coat and he is singing to his *walkman* at the top of his lungs, completely out of key.  He must know it's wrong because he's covering his face so no one can see it's him. 

 

Seriously, so much excitement in one day.

 

This in an of itself isn't the worst part.  Sure, it's the slap in the face, but the kick in the gut is that there is no incentive for me to take the Skytrain. 

 

Financially, it's MORE expensive than driving.  Sure there is a tax incentive if you buy a monthly pass, but it is not significant enough to be considered a benefit.  If you buy a monthly pass, it's a little cheaper, but not by much.  The monthly pass is only beneficial financially if you use it every single day.  And I still have to pay for parking, which adds another $3/day.

 

It doesn't save me time, because I have to give myself extra time in the event that I miss one or two trains because they're too full.  We need those guys they have in Japan who just keep pushing people on.  But then I wouldn't be able to drink my coffee.  Don't even bother talking to me until I've had my first cup of coffee.  Even Q learned that early on.  No matter what, I need to leave an hour and a half ahead of time.  That's three extra hours every day.

 

They just raised the Skytrain rates.  Because they're not making enough money.  How about instead of making it more expensive, making it more convenient, making it more efficient.  Then maybe people would want to use it.  You know, because it's cheaper or faster or more pleasant.  I don't know maybe it's radical thinking.  Some people think I'm a genius, so maybe I'm making it a little more simple than others. 

 

Fast forward to me, nice and warm in my car.  Listening to the radio or iTunes.  Or maybe talking on the phone with one of my girls.  (Yes, I have bluetooth, geez...I follow the rules.  I like rules.)  I can drink my coffee in peace.  I can even eat some breakfast.  It's relaxing. 

 

No one's fat gut or smelly armpit is in my face.  I can sit the whole time.  In a comfortable, clean seat.  I don't think I'm asking too much Translink.   

 

Seriously.  Don't make me write a letter.