Monday, August 19, 2013

Happy Birthday to Q

My little bug turned nine last week.  Nine whole years of wonderfulness filled with Q.  I cannot imagine my life without him.  He makes everything better in a million different ways.
 
But....
 
I'm having a really hard time with Q turning 9. 
 
And going into grade 4.
 
I'm mourning the loss of my baby.  My toddler.  My little boy.
 
Because now he is 9.
 
His feet smell (worse than before)...
 
He'd rather hang out with his friends than with his momma.
 
He says I'm weird.  There was a time when he wanted to marry me - okay....so I guess it's a good thing he doesn't want to do that anymore - but still how do you go from that to *weird*?
 
He has opinions on everything from his hair (it's long) to his clothes (baggy). 
 
I'm flooded with memories of him being a baby lately, and it makes me so sad that I can barely remember the smell of his sweet skin, his new voice, his soft skin.  I miss holding him in my arms and rocking him to sleep.
 
Plus, he's going through this really annoying phase (Eeps, at least I hope it's a phase...).  It's like his goal every day is to annoy me.  He sass talks me.  He's loud. 
 
I guess that he's going through this little thing called...growing up.  Whether he or I like it or not, this is a process we cannot ignore or think won't happen.  I read somewhere that boys go through a testosterone surge at 2 (sooooo funny, my friends son started grunting everything at 2 - like from "owwww, I stubbed my toe" to "hi! how are you?") so maybe they go through another one at 9?
 
I am no longer the center of my son's universe.  I know it's normal for this to happen.  It's even really good for this to happen.  I knew it was coming all along.  But nothing could prepare me for it.  Especially because he is still the center of my universe. 
 
I am so dreading the teen years. 
 
At least I cannot legally leave him alone yet.
 
At least he can't drive.
 
Or drink.
 
Or do long division...
 
I guess we've got a while to go yet. 
 
And he still sleeps with his favourite blanket...
 
So, no matter what, he'll always be my baby.  Even though he can't see through his hair...
 
Happy Birthday to my beautiful (baby) boy!!




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