Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I'm Baaaaccck!!!

Well, the move went smoothly, thanks for asking!  There are still boxes everywhere and I can't find a thing.  I think that it would have been a really fabulous idea to label the boxes, but me being me...well, I thought I'd remember.  Evidently, my memory is not what it used to be.  For example, I did not remember that I put my steel toed work boots in a plastic bag, in the bottom of my laundry basket and then covered them with dirty clothes.  I'm sure it seemed like a really good idea at the time.  It was not a good idea on Monday afternoon when I was almost late looking for them.  After running out of boxes, I also thought it would be a good idea to use garbage bags for items.  It was not a good idea when I couldn't for the life of me remember where I 'packed' my underwear....

Thankfully, I am never moving again.  Ever.

I am the Queen of Too Much Information.  It's true.  I tend to use my outside voice when it would be much more appropriate to use my 'thinking voice' instead.  Sure, it gets me into trouble more often than not, but it also lets people know exactly where they (or I) stand.  I like to think of it as a public service of sorts.  If, for instance, I tell all of my colleagues that my uterus is angry, they know to stay away.  Isn't that nice of me?  I can be a tad unreasonable when I'm in the midst of my monthly gift, and so a warning is just my way of being courteous.  I think it's really very thoughtful. 

So when my fellow blogger Melanie Sherman of "Meanderings of Melanie Sherman" (thank you, thank you, thank you!) gave me an award with the rule that in order to accept it, I had to share 10 secrets about myself...well, it positively stumped me.  Do I really have any secrets (ack...10 whole secrets)?  And if I do, are they juicy enough to share? 

The following is my list of ten.  If you take the "S" out of the award...well, that's probably more accurate....

  1. I have removed my profile and cancelled my subscription from every single dating site, including e-harmony (okay, so that was the only one...)  Learn from my experiences.  It's not a great way to meet men, it's a great way to judge people based on a few blurry pictures and a paragraph on what they do in their spare time.  I don't know about you, but I can't be summed up in three sentences.  I'm going to leave it in the hands of The Big Man Upstairs...
  2. I look better naked than clothed.  I have this little tummy that safely cradled my child as he grew inside me.  I have rockin' legs.  The girls are pretty fabulous for my 32 years (they're my favourite!) I have curves.  Clothes just cover them up.  Maybe I need a trip to "What Not to Wear" so that I can learn how to dress my curves...I think this 'secret' is interesting because most people have hang ups about their nakedness, but not me.  Don't get too excited, though,'ll just have to take my word for it...I am not about to offer up any pics as proof...
  3. I hate wearing underwear.  Ergo I don't wear it.  Well, that's not exactly true.  I wear it when it's appropriate to wear it.  You know, to work and stuff like that.  But, if you ever see me in sweat can be sure I'm going commando....ahhhh, the Queen of TMI....
  4. I hate brushing my teeth.  I don't know why, but I hate it.  I do it, faithfully, twice a day.  But I do not enjoy it.  Aren't teeth just bones, really?  Do we brush our bones?  NO.  I know, ridiculous logic but that is my argument.  Just to clarify, I hate it when my teeth aren't brushed too.  Geez, no pleasing this girl, huh?
  5. I am not a morning person.  I'm not a "wake-up" person.  I am not one of those who jumps out of bed the moment her eyes pop open, eager to start the day, whistling a tune.  It takes me a good 30 minutes and two cups of coffee to wake up.  And it's not just that I'm grumpy.  I'm incoherent.  Poor Q.  One day he said, "Mommy, wake up"  and I said, "Okay, okay.  Did you get the elastic bands off the counter?"  Silence.  "Mommy," he said quietly.  "I don't know what that means."  Well, me neither....I had drifted off again and was talking in my sleep.  Coffee is my drug of choice.
  6. This isn't so much a secret.  I just haven't had a chance to blog about it yet.  Realizing that I most likely will not get married in this lifetime (and at this rate, not the next one either...ha...ha..ha.) and therefore will not be having any more children of my own, I have decided to become a foster parent.  Not in the near, near future because I think Q should be a little bit older so he can understand the concept.  I thought about adoption, but there are soooo many people waiting to adopt a perfect little newborn.  What about the older kids?  The ones who get lost in the system?  I can plant the seed, I can give them my love and my time, and all it takes is a seed.  I don't expect it to be easy  But some of the most rewarding experiences in life come as the result of hardship.  The one thing every child deserves is love.  I have heaps of love to give.
  7. I have a sweet tooth, and very little will power....mmmmmmm, sweets.  I'm snacking on some cinnamon hearts right now.
  8. (While editing, I inadvertantly erased "secret #8" and now I can't remember for the life of me what it was.  Aarrrrgh.)
  9. I know I'm not supposed to care, but I want everyone to like me.  I don't like it when people don't like me.  Why not?  I'm nice.  I'm like super nice.  I smile at everyone.  I hold open doors.  I will bend over backwards in an attempt to make you like me.  What's not to like about that?  Huh?  What?  Well, it's not my fault you're a miserable old hag who doesn't like anyone.  Someone did not love you when you were a child, and I'm sorry.  But it's not my fault.  And I will still smile and I will still say "Hi!" So there.  I win.
  10. If I had to do it all over again, the things I would do differently: Laugh more, worry less.  Trust more, worry less.  God knows I've made my share of very, very stupid choices.  But I wouldn't change them at all.  They've made me who I am.  They've allowed me to understand Grace in a way I couldn't have otherwise.  And in the midst of all my pain and loneliness, He gave me an amazing gift to let me know He was still there.  He gave me Q.
And I'd like to thank the Academy..(and Ms. Sherman, of course!!!)  Go check her out, I think she's fabulous!!


  1. I'm SOOOOO with you on #9.
    Love your list! Thanks for sharing all those secrets in your thinking voice.

    And glad to hear the move went well. God help me if I ever move. Although I swore that if I ever replaced the carpeting again, I'd move this damn stuff better last the 30 years it's supposed to.

  2. Great list! I'm intrigued, of course. But before I say more, is your uterus angry? Because it was ten "truths" not ten "secrets". I mean, you could have just said, I like the color blue, purple flowers, red cars, etc. Hahahahaha. I so love your blog. I'm still laughing.

    (Glad your move went well)