Monday, September 30, 2013

Q-isms: War - Get on the Phone

As Q was falling asleep tonight, he said "War sucks. They should just do war over the phone."

This got me thinking...

Israelis - this is our land
Palestinians - no, it's our land
Israelis - nope. It's our land
Palestinians - nope. It's ours
Israelis - ours
Palestinians - ours
Israelis - ours
Palestinians - oooooooouuuuuuurrrrs!!!!
Israelis - you're so immature. This is the land of our ancestors. It's ours.
Palestinians - ours

Syria - we don't have any nuclear weapons. We don't know what you're talking about.
US - yes you do. 
Syria - no, we don't. We promise. 
US - ya well we heard otherwise
Syria - I swear on my dead mothers grave we do not have nuclear weapons
US - *whispering* check with intel to see if his mother is dead...
Russia - uhhhhh, hello? Hello! Yes, this is Russia. It's true. We were there last week and there are no nuclear weapons. We checked. 
US - oh ya??? Then how come all those people died??
Syria - uh, well you know we did have a bad case of the flu sweep through the country. 
US - hey....we checked...your mother is still alive....

US - give us Hussein
Iraq - no
US - give us Hussein
Iraq - no
US - give us Hussein
Iraq - no
US - give us Hussein
Iraq - no
US - GAH!!! Give us HUSSEIN!!
Iraq - no

Afghanistan - we hate you and your western ways
US - you're talking on the phone right now, aren't you? You're welcome. We invented that. 
Afghanistan - ...
US - ya, and how's that toilet working for you???
Afghanistan - we mean your western values, okay?!?!!
US - ohhhhhhh, like life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!!?
Afghanistan - ....
US - how do you like the iPhone 5?? Good reception??

Quebec - we just want to be alone
Canada - but we love you...
Quebec - it's just not working for us
Canada - but, you're a part of us
Quebec - it's not you, it's us. We're just better than you
Canada - no we can work this out.
Quebec - you can have your flag back
Canada - no. You keep it.
Quebec - we don't need it anymore 
Canada - you might change your mind. Sleep on it. You might feel differently tomorrow...

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