People Who Have Written Books...

...other than me, that is...because I, uh....haven't.  Yet.

1.  'Snooki'

Snooki drinks so much that she passes out in a "garbage can" at least once a month and thinks the best way to get over a hangover is to drink more.  I've never ever watched the show she's on and I can't imagine that I ever will.  I don't know how she got a t.v. show and a book deal, but she did.  I'm pretty sure this is a memoir...a whole book glorifying getting so drunk you start cat fights with strangers.  Oh wait...it says it's a novel...hmmmm, okay, it's a novel that glorifies getting so drunk you start cat fights with strangers.   Absolutely ridiculous!

2. Tori Spelling

Famous for her nose and boob jobs, fighting with her mother and stealing some one's husband (while also cheating on her own), she's written not one, not two, but three autobiographical 'self help' books...about parenting, go figure.  And now she's also written a children's book about a rich little girl - that's a big stretch of the imagination, huh?

3.  Hilary Duff

She's written a novel.  A paranormal love story.  I. Can't. Wait. (ummmm....yes, yes I can...) 

4.  Lauren Conrad

One of those people famous for being famous, a spawn of reality T.V.  She's written two novels (an L.A Candy story...sounds super fun, doesn't it?  I love candy...) and a book on style. 

I wonder.  If Hilary Duff and Snooki can write a book...and get someone to publish it....and then get someone to buy it...it must not be all that difficult to do.  It's absolutely an insult to literature in general.  Can you imagine if Shakespeare was still alive?  He's probably rolling in his grave as we speak.  Doesn't it make a mockery of epic novels like "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "War and Peace"?  Oh, or what about "Life of Pi".  I know, I know, you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover (or it's author), but we all do it.  Oh, don't lie...you know you do.  You've never ever bought a book because you liked the cover?  I have.  Many a time, I'm not afraid to say.  Some have failed to deliver.  My true secret for picking a book (other than word of mouth, of course) is to open a book to any page and just start reading.  If I want to keep reading, I usually buy the book...but I think I've gotten a little sidetracked. 

I'd better get on it.  Writing a book, that is.  But I don't have a cult following, fake boobs or a problem with drunken binges...

I need a gimmick.  Hmmmm.....

Or a really, really good idea....

Or talent....

Or all of the above.

Summer Lovin'....erm, I Mean Reading...

Everyone needs an escape from the every day.  For some, it's drugs (bad, tsk, tsk).  For others it's alcohol (also not the wisest of ideas).  Some throw themselves into their work.  Others exercise or meditate or pray.  Me, I read.  Reading is my escape.  I love getting lost in a world that is not my own. 

And now, for Catherine's Book Review (you know, just in case you want/need to escape).  It' not quite Oprah, but we take what we can get, right?

The Children's Book

This book has it all.  It's lyrical, it's poetic, it's war time drama, it's love conquered and love lost, it's the secrets that families keep for life time, only to have them destroy them in the end.  A mother who writes stories for each of her children, instead of showing them the love she has for them.  An auntie who's more than what she seems.  A father who has lovers and children and children and lovers.  To be honest, I skipped through a lot of the historical ramblings, the stories for the children.  The book was almost 700 pages long (or maybe more, I can't remember).  But the book is solid, and it's a fabulous escape.  Who can't resist a Midsummer's eve party?

The Seamstress

This is the story of two sisters in early 1900's Brazil.  The one event that separates them early in life and how different their lives become.  The one tie that binds them is their the memory of their aunt and the gift she gave them for sewing.  Both sisters get exactly what they wished for and find that these wishes are, in the end what destroy them.  It's beautifully written, rich with history and prose. 

Her Fearful Symmetry

From the author of "The Time Travelers Wife".  I have been waiting for her to write another novel, because I just loved the "Time Travelers Wife."  This book does
not disappoint.  It's completely different from her last novel, but written with the same voice.  Oh, I just cannot say enough about this book.  It'll make you gasp in horror, it'll make you fall in love.  You won't be able to put it down.  5 star definitely 5 stars, my friends.  A great escape.









Rachel's Holiday

This was to be my 'bubble gum' book.  My la de da, I don't need to think.  Just escape into this world of laughs and love.  Turns out, it made me realize things about myself I never knew.  Rachel has OD'd on a mixture of Cocaine and sleeping pills.  Her family *freaks* out and forces her into rehab for her drug addictions.  While she 'absolutely' does not have a problem, she loves the idea of being in a spa for the next 6 weeks.  What does she have to lose?  With no job, no money, and no friends any more...she might just meet a movie star!  A journey of self discovery with tongue in cheek humor that keeps it light and relateable. 







A Reliable Wife

I just finished this book.  I loved this book, I read it in less than two days.  Winter 1907, a man waits at a train station for his bride.  He found her ad in the newspaper.  He's older, rich and lonely.  She's young, poor, beautiful, and harbouring a secret that will destroy him.  It was written so well, for a man.  Well, just saying...because he writes the woman's point of view so well.  It's love, it's lust, it's unconditional love and acceptance.  Maybe I need to find me an old, rich man!!

Where We Have to Go

I'm reading this one right now.  She's a young Canadian author, which I should totally support because one day soon, I'd like to be a young Canadian author.  The thing I find about Canadian authors in general, is that we seem to be quite dark and depressing.  I mean, can you say, "The Stone Angel" by Margaret Laurence.  Like ugh and ack, and gah all rolled into one.  Or "The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz".  Ah, let the memories of grade 12 roll.  So, this one is depressing, too.  Yet relateable.  Growing up can be such a bitch sometimes.  What do we take away from it?  How do we allow it to mold us, make us grow?  Are we better for it?  Or do we let it destroy us bit by bit?

Baby, Remember My Name

Right now, I'm avoiding. Life, I guess some would say and truth be told, they're not far off the mark. Hurry up and wait, it'll get better.

Last night was one of those rare occasions where I had some time without Q. I decided to go to an adult movie...okay, clarification is in order...not an adult film, an adult movie. You know, one with no cartoon characters? These ones have plot lines (Yes, yes, you could argue that Disney Movies also have plot lines...) and adults and if you luck out, a fabulous message and a few goose bumps. We found this scummy movie theater by my house that offers movies at $4.50! Can you believe it? What a steal!! Of course, the seats were disgusting, and my girlfriend and I are wondering if you can get bedbugs from disgustingly dirty theater seats. They've never been cleaned I'm sure, and we really tried to not think about all the stories of what can/may happen in movie theaters. We sat, we didn't move, we didn't touch anything, we watched a movie for $4.50!!! Side note: a third the price, a third!! I may mention this again sometime during my blog....please be forewarned!

Our choices were limited, but we finally decided on "FAME." Absolutely worth the $4.50 (told you) my friends. Oh I had goosebumps (um...hopefully goosebumps and not bug bites....) the whole movie. It wasn't as sordid as the original t.v. series, however I was 5, so kissing and holding hands was definitely pushing the envelope. It made me want to dance, it made me want to sing at the top of my lungs, it made me want to act. Dammit, I want to be a triple threat!

Go out and live your dream. GO DO IT. It's going to be tough, and it's going to be a lot of hard work. Sometimes you will feel like giving up because you're not the best, fastest, most creative. But stop feeling sorry for yourself, push through it and show the world you can do it. Shit, forget the world, show yourself you can do it. It's a rush, it's a thrill, it's what life is all about. What are you waiting for?

Alright, now I've given myself a pep-talk I'll tell you what I'm avoiding today. I've decided to write a book. I have an idea, I have a few characters in mind. I have an ending....oooooooh, maybe I should write the book backwards. Co0incidentally, I don't have a beginning. And the more I think about the book I want to write, the more idiotic it sounds. But it could be really good, really, really good, if a really, really good author wrote it. I'll never know if I'm a really, really good author though, until I actually try. I've got to get these words out my head and into my computer. I've got to stop fantasizing about what could be, and realize what is. I'm going to write a book.