Friday, November 27, 2009

7 Little Things

First things first....

The e-harmony update...

-I have been matched with 18 men

-9 men have closed the match

-5 of these men said it was due to the fact they were "pursuing another relationship" (I call bullshit)

-4 are from the great U.S. of A (would never consider moving)

-Communicating with 5

-2 are named Andrew and are 42 years old (I get them mixed up all the time)

-2 are named Bruce

-I've made it to step 3 (which, I should clarify is NOT the same as third base...) with Andrew1 (and it won't go much further...he can't stand women who can't manage their finances...hmmmmm....ok....not so bad except that he also can't stand women who curse.  Well, fuck fudge I have been known to use a words from time to time.  Okay, okay, who are we kidding?  I could shock a trucker...)

-I've made it to step 2 with Andrew2 (and it won't go much I'm trying to keep an open mind, I've ignored the fact that this man is not the least bit attractive.  I know it sounds mean, it is mean.  But if the attraction isn't there, it just isn't there.  Right?  Am I being petty?)

-And three haven't gone past step 1. 


I guess I won't be doing a commercial any time soon.

Recently, a fellow blogger (f8hasit) gave me an award!  I totally suggest you check out her blog because I just think she is hilarious.  And it's getting to be winter.  I don't know what winter means where you live, but here it means rain.  And more rain.  And then more rain.  You get the idea.  Spend the afternoon reading her blog, drinking some tea (or wine, or Vodka...I'm not judging) and the rain won't seem so...rainy...

Back to the award...(and by 'award' I mean ME!)  The rules behind this particular one is that I have to share 7 things about me that no one (or most) don't know about me.  Sooooooo, here goes....

1.  I didn't really know how the award works.  "Swing on by and grab it"  f8hasit said.  Uh....ok...swing by where?  Grab it how?  So, I did the only thing that made sense to me...I stole the image from her blog (right click here, left click there...bada boom bada it is!) and put it on mine.  Phew....I feel so much better.  I feel horribly guilty for stealing.  It's really very pretty, though, isn't it?

2.  The past few weeks I've been watching Soap Operas before I go to work.  I haven't watched them for years!  But I've overdosed on HGTV and TLC.  General Hospital is soooooo much more scandalous!  I'm super happy to know that Jax and Carly are still together (although they are going thru a 'rough patch')  Elizabeth and Lucky are still together, although since I last watched they've been married, divorced, and Elizabeth has a child (ren?) from Jason that Lucky is raising(?) and they're getting married again.  Sonny is still alive, but living the mobster high life.  Maxi and Lulu sure have grown up, though.  Man, I feel old.  However, I also feel quite good about myself and my life.  My mother isn't sleeping with my ex-boyfriend, my brother's wife hasn't stolen my baby because her's died, my long lost daughter hasn't shown up and hit on my husband and my new beau (no, my husband does not know!) is not a hitman.  I'm doing awesome!!!

3.  I've never had a speeding ticket.  Ever.  This doesn't mean I don't speed.  I'm just lucky.  The only ticket (besides the million parking tickets...) I've ever had is for turning left over a double solid.  For the record, I'd like to state that practically EVERYONE does this.  I just happened to do it while a cop was filling up with gas in the gas station I was illegally turning into...

4.  I can't dance.  Seriously, I got no rhythm.  I dance like a white girl.  I can move my feet or I can move my arms, but I cannot for the life of me move both at the same time without looking like I have to pee.  Throw hip girating into the mix and I look like I'm having a seizure.

5.  I don't drink water.  I hate the taste...makes me gag.  I get my fluid intake from coffee.  Mmmmmm, coffee.  I love coffee.  Mmmmmm, Pepsi's good too!

6. I contemplate everything, no...I mean everything.  In fact, some would think it's borderline worrying.  To be absolutely honest, psychiatrists call it 'generalized anxiety disorder' and they give me this pretty pink pill to take every day so I don't drive myself mad with worry.  If I'm having a really bad day, I have a cute little blue one that dissolves under my tongue.  Oh the miracle of modern medicine, really quite spectacular.  Seriously, though...I'm really quite vocal about my 'disorder' because it horrifies me how many people suffer from mental illnesses and don't get help because it's taboo.  If your leg is broken, you go to the doctor and he fixes it.  Why can't it be the same if your brain is broken? 

7.  I feel inadequate in every aspect of my life, every single day.  I'm not the mother I could be, I'm not the daughter or sister or friend I should be.  I should be more spontaneous and less fearful.  I should be kinder and more thoughtful.  I should reduce my carbon footprint and recycle more.  Basically, I should single handedly save the world and everyone in it.  It's an exhausting job, but someone's gotta do it. 

Wow, that was cathartic...and thank you once again, f8hasit!


  1. Um, excuse me, this is your mother. I just have a little comment concerning this post, in reference to Point #7. You are, without a doubt, the most wonderful daughter anyone could ever want. And you are an awesome mother. Not who you could be? Well, are any of us? And in case you say I'm your mother, and have to say this, just check out the mothers on General Hospital!

  2. Sorry e-harmony didn't work out yet. My daughter had the same experience.

    Good one mom, sometimes our daughters need reminded how wonderful they are. Unfortunately, life tries to wear them down.

  3. THe best things about passing on those awards is to see what others give up as the 7 traits! Yours did not dissappoint!

    (And yes, in #1, that's exactly how I did it. Right click, left click, copy pate. BAM!)
    Well done.

    Sorry to hear about the eHarmony thing. I did it years ago but wasn't really ready to do it, if you know what I mean. I was JUST thinking as they sent me an e-mail with discounted blahblahblah, to try again. Perhaps I won't. Keep us informed! I may reconsider once I see you on the commercial!

  4. Well, coming from one who is practically perfect in every way, (I sure hope Karen doesn't read this) I have to say that the defense "But everyone does it, officer" doesn't hold a lot of weight when trying to get out of a ticket. Next time you are stopped, for whatever reason, try telling a derogatory lawyer joke.

    As far as #7, you provide lots of people with smiles from your blog. Do you have any idea how wonderful that is? How many people besides you can say that, hummm? We all do the best we can. No one expects perfection from others for then our own inadequacies would flicker like a beacon in the fog.

    Keep on writing, dear. (Your U.S. mom)

  5. I wonder...does crying get you out of a ticket? Because I might try that one if it ever happens again!
    And thank you everyone (including my momma) for your amazing, encouraging comments. While I certainly was not fishing for compliments, it was really nice to hear them all just the same. I know perfection is an unattainable goal (with the obvious exception of Melanie) sometimes I just forget!!!