Setting the scene:  
Me: in bathroom...inspecting my large pores and plucking eyebrows.  In barges the kid...
Q:  What are these?  (holds up a pack of cigarettes)
Me: Where did you find those?
Q:  In your purse.  What are they?
Me: uhhhh....they're smokes...
Q:  I'm throwing them out.
Me:  uhhh...okay...
Q leaves.  I continue plucking.
Q:  What are these? (holds up matches)
Me:  They're matches....
Q:  How much do smokes cost?
Me:  About $10.00
Q:  You can't afford that.  You only had $100 in your bank account (recounting a random number I gave him when he wanted me to buy him a toy and I told him I didn't have enough money.."How Much?"  he asked..."$100.00," I replied.  This kid remembers everything!!) and then you spent $10.00?  On smokes?  Now you only have $90.00.
Me:  You're right.
Q:  And do you want to die?  You could die.  Tomorrow.
Me:  No.  I don't want to die.  You're right.
Q leaves the room...
Me:  Hey dude?
Q:  Yeah?
Me:  Um....what were you doing looking through my purse?
Q:  Looking for candy.  If you really wanted to hide your smokes, you should have put them in here (holds up my makeup bag).  I wouldn't have looked in here for candy.
*Sigh*  
What am I going to do?  Take four...
Oh my gosh, you weren't kidding when you said he isn't a babe any more. He's a real, honest-to-goodness boy. And he sounds delightful (in a thank-goodness-I-don't-have-to-outsmart-him way).
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