Saturday, November 6, 2010

Funkity Funk Funk Funk

Why is it that being in a funk isn't as cool/acceptable/fun as being funky?  Well, I should rephrase that, not funky as in, "Gee, that smells funky."  More like, "Wow, she's cool.  She's super funky!!"  (yes, I one talks that way anymore, unless it's a SNL skit.)  But no one would have decided to make a song with the lyrics, "Can you take me town?  Can you take me toooown?" if funky town wasn't so much fun.  I think the real problem here is that there are too many meanings for the word funk.  English in general is so ridiculous that way.  You'd think that all those scholarly types could think up enough words so we didn't need to clarify the difference between a tear and a tear, not to mention the differences between bare and bear.  One time years ago, when my brother and I were young, we're playing Pictionary and he gets the word 'Hoe'.  Don't even ask me how my brother knew what a 'Ho' was and why decided to draw that instead.

All that just to say I'm in a funk.  And it's not fun.  It's not cool.  It's would be way better to be funky (and not in a smelly way...)  I'm so bored that last week I had to talk myself out of chopping off my mid-back super long blonde high lighted hair and dying it black.  Seriously, it's that bad.  I mean this is what my nightmares are made of, my hair being cut with or without my knowledge.  I have literally woken up in a cold sweat after a horrid night terror consisting of my hair being cut.  But last week, it seemed like such a good idea.  And the colour, I couldn't decide whether or not to go platinum blonde or jet black.  Both would have been equally as shocking to the system.  I was thinking of a Victoria Beckham-esque bob.  Kind of like this.  Actually, exactly like this...

Or this....

Minus the tattoo, of course. 

Hmmm, or maybe not...I wonder what it means and if it's applicable to me...

So, I thought I'd try one of those web sites that takes a picture of you and merges it with the celebrity hair styles of your choice so you can see what you look like with Jennifer Aniston's hair (hmmm...I wonder if they have a site that does that with celebrity noses too...)  But get this, you have to pay...for a (minimum) three month subscription.  I'm trying to be spontaneous here, people.  I don't need three months to decide.  I want to upload my face and download Victoria's hair.  Simple.  Fast.  Bingo Bango...Bob's your uncle. 

With that idea out the window, I thought I'd keep the length and go black.  Jet black.  But the problem with that is it's so final.  Just as they say, once you go black, you cannot go back, and that's not just with men my friends.  You cannot just go back to blonde if you decide you don't like black.  Well, you can...after about $300.00 - $500.00, after they've stripped your hair and it has the consistency of straw, then you're back to blonde...only it's got a bit of a greenish hue to it.  Well, except for the parts that are orange.  Or falling out from all the processing, for that matter.

In the end, I couldn't even commit to bangs.  Bangs are always a mistake.  For me, anyways.  And they take forever to grow out.  Instead, I'm going to just live with my brown hair with blonde highlights and my funk.  At least until next week, when I have some solo girl time with my bff.  Who knows what trouble her and I will get into, but it's always good times with T.B.

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