Monday, November 22, 2010

In My Day...

Hello there! 

Where have I been?

Well, let me tell you.  The past two or so weeks have been a whirlwind!  A last minute trip to see my best friend.  We shopped for like 6 hours straight, like only she and I can (in high heels, no less) and we got our noses pierced.  Let me just say that if you've ever wondered if it hurts to get your nose pierced I can tell you that it really, really, really does.  Like a Mother.  I was *stupid* enough to go second and thought it was a good idea to watch how they do it, you know so it wouldn't seem as bad.  This was a huge mistake - HUGE - because it looks as painful as it is.  First of all, they stick this metal rod up your nose so they don't puncture anything else with the needle.  Then they take this super sharp needle about the size of a toothpick and jam it in your nose.  They leave it there, while they take a nose ring with a spiral end and screw it into your nose.  The whole process takes about thirty seconds, but when you're watching it and you know you're next, it seems more like 5 minutes. 

The gal who was giving us the piercings...the *artist* I believe they're called - must still be laughing at us...especially since she had the bridge of her nose in between her eyes - and she had the back of her neck pierced.  I'm not sure how that's done.  I'm also not quite sure how/why anyone comes up with that...piercing the back of your neck.  Anyways, I now feel like a super bad ass 33 year old momma with this thing in my nose that feels like a perma-booger.  I'm hoping a get used to it.

In the past two weeks, my birthday has also come and gone.  I puked my way through it, and not in a good way.  I had the stomach flu and my birthday dinner consisted of crackers and fizzless ginger ale.  When I wasn't puking, I was sleeping.  Whooooooo hoooooooooo, what a party animal.  I think I'm creating a nice little tradition here because I was also sick for my birthday last year.  So far, my thirties have been fabulous. 

Best present ever:  Realizing I'm 33 and not 34.  It's like I gained a whole year.

This was the year of gift cards, which I absolutely love because I love shopping and shopping with someone elses' money is always better (even more reason why I should end up with a sugar daddy, right?  Am I right????)  So, I'm standing in line at Old Navy with a new pair of Jammies (yes, they deserve capitalization...) and Slippers (ditto) and I'm minding my own business.  In the line behind me is a teen-aged boy about 14 or know, the age where it's cool to wear a toque inside and his mother.  From out of nowhere, this kid winds up and punches me in the arm.  Not super hard, kinda like a 'yellow punch buggy' type of punch.  I look at him and he laughs and mumbles, "sorry."  (No capitalization there...)  His mother also laughs.

I'm PMS-ing, by the way....

I stand there.  I look at my mom.  I stand there.  I start saying, "I'm going to freak out" like it's a mantra.  I calmly pay for my stuff, and I'm super polite to the cashier.  I'm about to leave, and I just can't let it go.  I turn around, and this is what comes out of my mouth...

"You know, it might be cute and funny that your son is going around hitting women now, but in a few years it won't be funny.  It'll be assault."

The mom freaks out (Mama Bear Syndrome) and starts telling me it was a mistake, and I walk away - shaking like a leaf. 

What is going on in this world?  Children are randomly assaulting women while their mothers stand by and watch?  And laugh?  (Why yes, yes I am still'd you notice?)  I put myself in the mother's shoes.  If Q bumps someone, intentionally or not, he knows it's wrong and I would be mortified.  I wouldn't laugh.  What kind of parent laughs at that?  Maybe I overreacted.  Probably I overreacted.  But if nothing else, that kid will never hit another woman without thinking twice and thinking of me.  At least, I hope he'll think twice.

I'm in Walmart today.  It's one of those new Super-Walmart stores.  It's a novelty.  It's a zoo at two o'clock in the afternoon.  I'm standing by the meat counter, bending over to get said meat when a woman comes between me and my cart and pushes me out of the way so she can get some meat.  I look at her, and she's like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I need some meat..."  Really?  I didn't notice.  I don't need meat.  I'm just standing here  IN FRONT of the meat because I thought it would be fun.  Why not consider waiting until I've moved on?  Like I just did when there was someone there 30 seconds ago? 

Seriously.  What is wrong with our society?  Have we become so rushed, so multi-tasked, so impatient that we've lost our manners?  I know Walmart is the lowest of the low in terms of social standings, but c'mon people...we're nothing if we're not polite and courteous.  It takes so little to smile, to wait a moment, to be patient.  And it can mean so much.  We forget sometimes that we have the power to make or break someones day with one simple gesture. 

So, the next time you get in my way, remember that.  Okay?  Okay!

1 comment:

  1. The kid and his mom deserved the dressing down. You are amazing to come up with such a quick and pithy response!