Her Name Is Lola

and she's my show girl

Less than 24 hours ago, I had no idea that I would be the new owner of a car.  Less than 24 hours ago, I was living my little life with my little Rosie, pondering how I'd pay for the new timing belt and berating myself for letting it go so long since my last oil change.  The brakes were squealing, the tires were bald, but hey, she was my Rosie.  She once drove from Calgary to Merritt - that's 800km - on one tank of gas.  I've had her for 5 years!  That's longer than I've stuck with anything (not including my child, of course).  She has taken care of me, even though I've not always been the best at taking care of her.

I knew the financing schedule that I had set up was coming to an end, but I didn't really know what to do with that information, so true to form, I stuck my head in the sand and hoped for the best.  While I'm not condoning this behavior at all, nor does it ever actually work for me...this time, I must have had luck on my side.  

I got a phone call from a gal named Zora, and this is what she said..

Z: Hello C.  Your financing is almost up.  What are you going to do?

Me:  That's a very good question!  I have NO idea.  What are my options?

Z: Well.  Your best option is to bring the car in, we'll buy it back and give you a new one.  We've got some really great deals on right now.

Me:  Like what?

Z: 0% financing.  No payments for 90 days. $300 gas card.  Great deals.  Big sale. 

Me:  Okay, I'll come in next week!!

Z: No!!!  You must come in today.  The deals end today.  I cannot give you the deal tomorrow.  It must be today

(She has a very strong eastern European accent.  Am I conveying that effectively?)

Four hours later, I was driving home with a brand new Kia Soul in Titanium Grey.  I know, right?  Shut the front door!  I never do anything with much research (True story:  I once bought a car because I liked the sound it made when I opened the door.  It wasn't a DING. DING. DING.  It was more of a bing, bing, bing), but I have also never, ever bought a car on a whim.  A bing maybe, but never a whim.  My payments are a little bit more than before, but that's okay, cuz guess what...I'm gonna BUDGET for it. 

Holla!!

Now here's where I get all sappy and emotional and excuse me if I break down completely...

Five years ago I was in the midst of a break up.  I was facing a reality of a failed *marriage*, a future as a single mother.  I was working part time.  I had $300 to my name.  I sat in the dealership wondering how I'd be able to manage the payments on a car and pay rent and support a toddler all on my own.  While excited for the future, I was terrified of what it held.  Terrified I wasn't strong enough to face it.  Horribly disappointed in myself that *this* was what I had become.  Ashamed I couldn't offer my child or any one else anything more.  I was a broken down version of myself.  

I had a little, itty bitty teeny bit of hope deep, deep down that maybe I'd get through.

Five years later, I wish I could have traveled back in time and told my former self that we were going to be okay.  We were going to be more than okay.  We were strong enough, and every moment from that first singleton moment on was a second chance to become more than I was then.  I wasn't a failure.  I was starting again, and the person I was about to become was amazing and strong and kind and wonderful and it was going to be okay.  I wish I could have told that woman that. 

I sat in the dealership yesterday and giggled.  I just kept giggling.  It was so ridiculous that I was buying a brand new car with no foresight or research or reasoning or anything *logical*.  I giggled because I was the woman who made it through and became better for all the trials in front of me.  I allowed them to make me stronger.  I giggled because I had the ability to make a completely insane decision on a whim.  I giggled because I didn't have to ask anyone or compromise or "just wait until tomorrow".  I giggled because I drove away with a brand new car.

This morning...

I woke up feeling like I was going to puke.  WTH did I just do?  Was I friggen insane?  Who does shit like that?  A little bit of buyers remorse, I'd say.  I'm talking myself out of the panic, because let's face it...5 years of panic does not sit well with me.  What's done is done, and so I might as well enjoy it. 

And I figure...with a name like Lola...who doesn't have at least one regret after one night with a gal named Lola?

Am I right?

C'mon Show Girl...Let's get this show on the road!!  (How cheesy is that!!)  Some times I just love the cheese!!