The iPhone Flaw (aka...Put it Down)

I have found a flaw with my beloved iPhone 4.  I know it's shocking, but it's true.  It is stealing hours of my time.  More accurately, hours and hours and hours of my time...wasted by a stupid phone.  Okay, wait...I'm sorry.  It is not a stupid phone.  I regretted the words as soon as they came out.  I love my phone. 

But...

Between the apps - oh, the apps!!!  Scrabble!  Angry Birds!  Tap Zoo!  Sudoku! Chuzzle!  Unblock Me! -and the instant access to Facebook, my e-mail, texting and the fabulous World Wide Web,  I can (and have) spend countless hours (a whole afternoon...gone!) on my phone.  These are hours I can never, ever get back.  Not only time, but embarrassingly enough I have spent money (!) building a fake zoo.  And I'm not even a gamer!  I've never understood the draw, until now.  I can't even remember the last time I spoke to someone on the phone.  If I can't say it in a text, why bother?  If I can't say it in a text, but really should - I send an e-mail.  I can't even watch t.v. anymore without one eye on my phone.

That is...unless my child has stolen my phone and is playing one of his games on it.  I had to change the password the other day, because he's hacked it twice and he uses it almost to the exclusion of all his other "toys".  The little love dismisses any phone calls I might receive because it's interrupting his game.  It has become the source of more than one argument between the two of us...because he always wants more...one more app, one more hour, one more second.  "Just Wait" have become his two most favourite words. 

I haven't read a book in 6 months.  That's horrible.  I have two books that I really, really want to read.  It just so happens they're both coming out as movies...although, I wanted to read them before I knew they were movies.  Well more accurately...I wanted to read them after I found out they were being made into movies, but before they actually were...Water for Elephants and The Help.  (The Help, by the way has been toted as "one of the most important pieces of fiction since 'To Kill A Mockingbird'."  *Gasp*)  I have both in my possession...and they both remain untouched and a little dusty.   

It is embarrassing the hold this phone has on us.  And I can't really get mad at my child, he's just following the lead I've forged.  I'm addicted.  It's an addiction - an illness, really.  I don't think we can be held accountable for our actions. 

Okay, for real...I'm gonna make a resolution.  I'm going to put the phone down.  I'm going to use the phone as a phone.  I know this is totally revolutionary and a little scary.  But I'm going to do it.  I'm going to read a book.  I'm going to blog more often.  I'm going to live my life instead of merely watching others live theirs.  I'm going to set an example for my son, and here's the bummer for him...he's not gonna be able to use it, either.  Well, let's not go completely crazy, right?  I'll give him a time limit....it is a wonderful babysitter when mommy needs a few *me* minutes.

Perks

One of the fabulous things about my job...if not the *only* most fabulous thing about my job is that every year about this time we get a bonus.  A financial bonus.  Not a shabby one either.  Now, I'm being a good girl and saving the majority of it, but today I treated myself to a few little gems.  I figure I deserve it. 

Look. At. These. Shoes.  Aren't they fabulous?  I have no idea where I'm going to wear them, nor what I'm going to wear them with but it won't be the first time I've bought shoes first and then had to buy an outfit to match them.  Side note:  I often buy clothes thinking, "this would be cute for a date..."  This hasn't come through for me yet.  But I am totally prepared in the event any man ever loses his marbles and asks me out.  They are so super comfortable, too.  Retail for $90.00, and I got 'em for $60.00...so not only was I giving myself a little gift, I was also *bargain* shopping.  Two stars for me!!  Franco Sarta is, in my very humble opinion, the best shoe maker out there. 

Along the same lines, and yet so completely different...Stiletto mascara from Maybelline.  The marketing geniuses have struck once again.  They know that people like me cannot resist advertising like this.  I love stilettos, I love mascara...how could I not want to believe that my eye lashes will be as absolutely sexy and fabulous as stilettos?   It's cruel, really.  I didn't even stand a chance.  It does really look amazing, doesn't it?  I'll let you know if my eye lashes remind me of stilettos.  Or even better if a stranger stops me on the street and says, "Has anyone ever told you your eye lashes look like stilettos?"  That would be awesome.

Remember when I got my IPhone and said that I didn't need to buy books anymore because I could download them onto my phone and save a tree.  Well, I lied.  I cannot resist the lure of a brand new book.  I love the smell, the feel, everything.  It's been a long time since I've read a book (all the phone's fault, you know...)  But look, here is the new addition to the library.  It looks so good.  The trailer for the movie looks amazing.  I'm really loving Reese Witherspoon/Gwyneth Paltrow right now (have you seen Country Strong?  Gwyneth is incredible.)  And the book is about forbidden love between two people in the midst of a circus.  Why can't I think up stuff like that????  

I have the Real Simple app for my phone, and I follow them on Facebook (admittedly, a little bit stalkerish) but nothing (and I repeat, nothing!) is as wonderful as a tangible copy that you can touch.  Flipping through a new magazine is like a love story.  It starts out slow as you get to know one another, then you lose yourself in one story, and another.  Until suddenly, you realize you've lost a whole afternoon gazing into your love pages.  The pages become worn as the time goes by, and you know every inch of every page. 

Yes, I know.  I'm weird.  And this totally explains why I'm single.  Whatever.  If I have to wear my red shoes to the grocery store or to bed, I don't care.  I will. 

I will.

Let Me Count the Ways

Loving my new iPhone is not wrong. 

It is not frivolous. 

It's practical.

It really, really is. 

Honest.

It can single handedly organize my whole entire life.  I think that every single person in the world should have an iPhone...and if I'm ever in the running for the title of Miss America that will be my answer to any question I'm asked.  I know it sounds a little ridiculous to anyone who doesn't have one.  But these are all the practical reasons why I love my iPhone...

1.  Every time I buy a new book, it's like a little love affair begins.  It might be silly, and I'm a little embarrassed to admit, but I like the smell of ink on the page.  That smell can take me back to a million different loves.  But, every time that a book is made a tree dies.  Some people believe that trees were made so that books could exist.  But imagine this...we no longer have to make books.  We no longer have to cut down trees.  We can read books on our phones with iBooks.  For a fraction of the price.  I no longer have to fork over $20 for a book.  How many times have you been stuck in a waiting room with a whole bunch of magazines from 1998?  Or forgot to throw your book in your purse before you left the house?  These are no longer problems.  Sure the love affair will die, but that's okay because I'm in love with my phone.   

2.  It's become a bonding experience for me and Q.  Sure, you can bond with your kid during bowling nights or reading them bed time stories.  Or you can buy an iPhone.  We really like the Glee App.  We can sing *Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star* at the top of our lungs and then play it back and listen to us sing.  We giggle and smile and hopefully, this is what memories that last a lifetime are made of.  I know I'll remember.

3.  For those of us (ahem) who have a difficult time budgeting, there is the BudgetTool that has cool looking colour coded pie charts.  You plug in your numbers and it shows you what you should be spending in each category (ie: rent/mortgage) every month based on your salary.

There's more.  Of course, there's more.  There are games for me (my fav: scrabble), there are games for Q (his fav: air hockey), a GPS (say 'hello' to never getting lost again!!), my whole music library, an HD camera and video.  It's convenience in my hand.  I always have my phone with me.  If I feel moved to take a picture of something, anything...it's in my hand.  It's right there.  If I forget to put my watch on, big deal...I have my phone. 

And then, there are gems like this.  When you least expect it, a surprise from the one you love the most. 

 

My New Love

Okay, so those who follow this blog regularly understand that I'm somewhat of a consumer.  I cannot help that I am swayed easily by creative marketing and fabulous items that will enhance the quality of my life.  I mean, who can deny how much my life has improved since I became the proud owner of one fuchsia pink Coach purse?  Or how much more enjoyable watching T.V. has become now that we watch it on a 32" Samsung HDTV?  

So..........the other day, I just happened to be waiting for a friend outside my phone service provider's store.  I had a few extra minutes to kill, so I went inside to 'browse'.  And they just happened to not be busy at all and they always seem to be v. helpful and v. friendly.  I casually asked about the iphone 4, but alas they were all sold out and weren't expecting any in for a month or more and they sell very fast and so basically, I was shite outta luck.  So, I waited for my friend outside the store.

Until, like a fairy tale or a rom com, the guy from the store comes running out after me, "Miss!  Miss!"  he called.  This, by the way always makes me laugh.  Do I look like a *miss* more than I look like a *ma'am* (which is even more hilarious to me)?  I guess it would be kind of inappropriate to call me *Babe* or *Sweet Love* and very impolite to call out, *hey, lady*.  Uh, where was I?  Oh ya, he runs out and get this...his manager is leaving the store right now to go pick up a new order that has just arrived, and it contains *gasp* the new iphone 4 (cue choir of angels) and he'll call me when she gets back.

At this moment, my friend arrives.  We shop, we bond, we eat.  We're getting ready to leave and seeing as how I parked by the store, I might as well stop in just to see if the phone has arrived...and get this...he's calling me as I walk in the store.

Is this not fate?

It's totally fate, right?

Totally.

So, that's the long story.  The short story is that I bought me the new iphone 4 and I am in love.  It's just fabulous in every way.  As I signed the new contract, my heart went pitter patter and I thought to myself..."this is way better than getting married." 

I don't know if that's a bad thing.

I'm positively giddy over my new purchase and I think I've come to a life changing realization.  Forget small purchases.  They just prevent you from buying the big ones.  Save for the big ticket items...that's where the rush is.  The Coach purse, the HDTV, the new car. 

I can't wait for the next big purchase. 

And I'm sorry, but you're going to have to put up with a few more posts starring the newest baby of the family.  I'm sorry, but she is just that fabulous.

Ohhhh, maybe I should give her a name....like 'Baby" because nobody puts baby in a corner...

Then again....it is just a phone...*snicker snicker snort*