Thursday, March 25, 2010

These Boots *Weren't* Made for Walking

I am a girl in a boys world.

It's always been that way, really.  And I'm not talking about a 'burn your bra' way, either. 

It's in a 'I can do what you do' sort of way.  Only...

I'm so good at what I do that I can get a man to do it for me without noticing that I haven't done it.  I know.  I'm brilliant.

No, I can't fly an airplane...but I can load it so it doesn't crash.  And no, I can't drive a forklift...but I can evaluate whether or not you can.

I'm good at what I do.  But the best part is this...I get to look cute doing it.

The *most* horrible thing about my job right now is that I have to wear steel toed boots.  I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of wearing them, and if you have...bear with me for those who've not.  I would rather spend 16 hours in four inch stilettos than 8 hours in steel toed boots.  I mean, for starters...I'd look four inches taller, so that's a bonus right there.  And they're sexy.  So really, what else is there?

A good pair of shoes is a pair of shoes you can have a love affair with.  I still remember my first love.  They were a pair of patent leather baby blue high tops.  I think I was 10.  I still remember falling in love with them.  And a good many pairs of shoes have followed.  The black Franco Sarta wedges with the pointed toe.  The red crocodile boots. The black suede pumas with bling on the side....just to name a few.  Girls, who needs a man when you've got shoes?  

But I digress...steel toed boots don't let your feet breath, because...well...they're steel.  At the end of the day, my feet smell worse than any man's I've ever met.  My feet sweat in these horrid things.  No woman's feet should smell the way mine do.  Ever.  It's just wrong.  Also, the steel rubbing against your toes causes callouses, which are just ugly.  And please, don't even get me started on the pedicures.  There just isn't any point, because it's destroyed before the week is through.  I had resigned myself to a life of ugly boots and ugly toes. 

Until....


Oh yes.  They're pink.  PINK!!!  I cannot believe my fortune.  I almost cried with joy when I found them.  Imagine....ugly, ugly, ugly....turn the corner...PINK!  Tears of joy, my friends, tears of joy.  And you cannot even believe how many compliments I get on them.  I think I've begun a trend. 

Of course, they kill my feet.  They've been off for an hour and my big toes are still throbbing.  I have blisters on my next-to-baby toes on both feet.  And my feet still smell. 

But I DON'T CARE.

Because they're PINK!

And who hasn't suffered a little for fashion?  I'm sure I'm not the first. 

Oh yes, just a girl.  In a boys world.  I ask you this...how many men could pull that off?

Exactly.

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