Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Angry Uterus Strikes (again)

Right now this is my desk top pic...sufficient warning, I hope

Like clockwork, the angry uterus strikes at the same time every month.  Knowing that it's inevitable should make it easier.  This is what is annoying me right now...

1.  The IRenew Bracelet...

Seriously?  Seriously?  You've got to be kidding me.  I am the consummate consumer, so I get the appeal of things like "The Slap Chop"  and the "Sham-Wow!"  Believe me, every time it says, "CALL NOW!!"  it takes everything within me to not call.  But come on.  Are we really all that miserable with our lives that we think this is the answer?  Are we that hopeless as a society?  Are we that fricken gullible?  And furthermore, why couldn't I have thought of it, instead of twit in the commercial?  Then I'd be making millions off of humanity's stupidity.

2.  While we're on the topic:  The more people I meet, the more people I dislike.  Just to prove how much I dislike people, I am going to surround myself with hundreds of thousands of them, probably most of them drunk or stoned, on Saturday night so I can watch the fireworks with my son down at English Bay.  No one I know is stupid enough to accompany us, but a promise is a promise is a promise.  Maybe this will make up for the horrid *Water Park Weekend*

3.  Along the same lines...one person in particular is annoying me more than most.  He is always mad at me for things I've not done, things he *perceives* I've done.  It's exhausting trying to stay on top of it.  I've told him the truth, he refuses to believe it.  Guess what...I don't really care anymore.  Life is way too short for bull shit like that.  The fabulous thing about the truth, sir, is that whether you choose to believe it or not, it just is.  So there.  I don't have the energy to tell you to your face.  And you probably wouldn't care anyways.

4.  My tooth.  The one with the abscess in it.  The one that is going to require an effin' root canal in the next two or so months.  Well, actually it should be done now...but dentist is trying to buy us some time seeing as how I have no dental benefits left for this fiscal year...Sigh...tg for dentist though.  Also, tg for sedation dentistry, folks...only way to go.  And btw, I can feel the infection in my nose and cheek, that's how *fabulous* an infected nerve is.  Damn teeth, I should just get 'em all pulled.  Great weight loss plan too, right?  If you've lost count, this is root canal number 6 people.  I'm 32. 

5.  Meetings with *specialists* in the mail world.  This is mainly annoying because they talk to you like you're five while they explain a super simple process change.  And then you ask a question, and they don't know the answer.  In fact, they don't even know what you're talking about, so they just say, "That's a very good question!" and then don't bother to answer it.  I was trying breathing techniques until I started to get light headed and realized I was actually hyperventilating. 

So any one of these events would have sucked on any normal day.  On an angry uterus day, they make me a raging hormonal mess.  Don't worry, though...everyone has been warned and notified, and for the time being they're being really very respectful towards to manic woman pounding away at her computer while muttering obscenities under her breath and randomly sighing in a feeble attempt to excise some of this angst.  It's not working, in case you were wondering...

What do you do to calm your angry uterus???

1 comment:

  1. Well, I just wanted to comment that I don't like crowds of people either. There are many wonderful people, but in a crowd, it only takes a handful to ruin a good time.

    Also, you poooooor dear thing. I hope you can get your tooth taken care of quickly. HUGS.