Saturday, July 3, 2010

A SEA of choices...(pardon the pun)

I've been mulling over ideas for a career change.  I want a job where I'm not a bossy boss.  That's pretty much the only criteria.  Well, that and I need to make a pretty penny.  Money doesn't grow on trees, ya know. 

**Funniest story ever...when asked what his dad did for a job, this little boy in Q's class says, "He puts a roof over my head." And when the teacher says, "Okay, but how does he do that?"  B says, "By bringing home the dough.  Money doesn't grow on trees, ya know."  Ahhhh, finally a kid who listens to cliches...what more could you ask for?**

There are certain professions that I am not cut out for at all.  I wouldn't make a very good doctor because, while I'd look super cute in scrubs, I would be self diagnosing every bump, itch and rash.  I'd also not make a very good accountant because I'm not very good with numbers and oh my goodness, how boring would that job be.

I think it would be really fun to be a hair stylist, but it is probably a whole lot harder than it looks.  Besides, me and sharp scissors do not play well together.  A lawyer would be pretty cool, too.  Unless you knew that the guy you were trying to defend was guilty.  I'd probably let it slip *by accident* or give a wink-wink, nudge-nudge during closing arguments.  Not to mention the 8 years of school.  Here's a depressing thought:  I would be over 40 by the time I graduated.  I'd get to wear those cute suits with super high stilettos to work every day, though...just like Ally McBeal.  Cuz that's what being a lawyer is really all about, right?

The only thing that I really know how to do is tell other people what to do.  I know, it sounds ridiculous, right?  But it's true.  I'm really good at seeing what needs to be done, who can do it best, how it can be done the fastest, and I can multi-task like nobody's business.  And I can do it for 8 hours straight.  I get results.  In an interview once, I was asked what my management style was.  The interview was going horribly south, with the interviewer checking out her cuticles (seriously) more often than me, so I thought for a second, and answered truthfully, "Servant Leadership."  It was fabulous, I think their eyeballs nearly popped right out of their heads.  However, I know my employees (well, maybe 95% of them...because there's gotta be one or two in every crowd, right?) would do nearly anything for me, because they know that I would do the same for them.  While I didn't get the job (I realized mid-interview I really, really didn't want it) I found an awesome answer to a difficult question.  I'd answer the same way again and again, and I hope I live it every day.

But back to the job search.  I decided I would love to be a SEA...this stands for Special Education Assistant, also known as a TA, Teacher's Assistant or EA, for Education I think they're suffering from a bit of an identity crisis, but who isn't these days, really.  They hang out in the classroom with children who have behavioural, physical or emotional disabilities and help them learn.  Mrs. Simpson was in Q's class and she was just awesome.  She was there to help a little boy who had hearing loss and autism, but she noticed that Q had a speech delay, so she created a program for him, worked with him almost every day for only 15 minutes, and now strangers can understand Q.  This is a big deal.  At the beginning of the school year, I had difficulty understanding him sometimes.  It almost makes me cry when I think about the wonderful gift she gave Q.  And the little boy with autism has grown by leaps and bounds.  He's hardly the same boy from the beginning of the year.  What would be more rewarding than that?

So I looked into it, and this is what I found...

It's a nine month course (woot, woot!!) that costs $4000.00 (okay, not bad...) with a cool grand for books (eep!!)  It's super intense, so I wouldn't be able to work (huh.)  I'd have to save between three and four grand for each month I wasn't working (9 x $4000 = $36, 000....I math is horrible...but holy shite, man...)  Oh, and if I'm going to college, I should probably pay off my debt before I rack up even more, right?  So that's another $10,000.  Has anyone been following this?  That's over $50,000 for me to go back to school.  For 9 months.  In education - where they like to make cuts and lay people off like it's a sport. 

All for a job that pays less than half what I make now.

I would be happy. 


But happy.

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