Have You Seen My Keys?

I'm Type A in a lazy woman's body.  It's so unfair.  I really, really want to be uber-organized, but I'm just too lazy. 

Take, for instance, last week when I defaulted on a car insurance payment all because I wasn't really paying attention to my finances.  If I had just taken the time to organize my money situation, I wouldn't have had to pay the $60.00 NSF fee in addition to the $30.00 penalty from ICBC.  That was a painful $90.00 mistake. 

And I mostly have Q's babysitting schedule in my head, but I'm not going to lie...there has been a time or two when I found myself in a right state because I had no idea where my child was.  Thankfully, he was safe and sound with my Mother, and even more thankfully, it's not happened yet that he's been left to fend for himself.  I'm pretty sure that *not being organized* is not an excuse that Child Services would consider appropriate. 

In my house, everything has its place...however it is seldom put there.  If I just put my keys on the friggen hook by the front door every time I came in, I would never have to run around my house in a panic five minutes after I had to leave for work.  The hook is there.  I put it there myself.  I've even walked into it a time or two (really, super painful!) but nine times out of ten there are no keys on it.  I like it when I keep them in my coat pocket from two days ago.  Then it's really fun trying to find them. 

Oh, how I would love it if I had the presence of mind to make my coffee the night before and then program it to come on just as I wake up.  How great would it be if I actually had an hour and fifteen minutes to get ready for work, instead of hitting the snooze button three times and then rushing to get ready in 40 minutes with no coffee.  An hour and fifteen would surely give me five minutes to listen to the traffic report before I left home, so I didn't have to spend 25 minutes in a traffic jam - thus rendering me 10 minutes late for work. 

Imagine, telling Q it's time to have a bath, because it's Tuesday night at 7:30pm and that's what we do at 7:30pm on a Tuesday- it's written down in the planner - instead of saying, "Ew...dude...you stink.  When was the last time you had a bath?"

If only...

*sigh*

So, I'm in Chapters the other evening and they have a "Mom's Agenda".  As I'm Type A deep, deep down, I find that I'm always drawn to these type of organizational masterpieces, and I flip through it like I've just discovered the Holy Grail.  It's amazing.  It' has spots for 'Mom' and then spots for 'Child 1', 'Child 2' and so-forth.  It's got month at a glance, and then it breaks it down even further.  My brain was spinning with the sheer organizational genius of it all. 

it's so pretty.  look at the little butterflies...

I flipped to the back of the agenda, and found pages dedicated to various things you'd possibly wish to organize.  I kind of snorted when I saw the page for 'Wines' as I thought it was a little overkill.  Who's organized enough to write down their favourite wines?  Me? I'm in and out of the liquor store in less than 10 minutes.  If it's under 10 bucks and it's a 3 on the sweet scale, we're good.  Who needs to write that down?  And the page for e-mails and passwords and bank accounts and passwords?  Well, it's brilliant if you're never going to misplace your agenda...but if you're like me, we're hooped if we've written all that shit down.  Although...you can't really steal money from me if I have none, right?  Try buying a house under my name with my credit, fool.  We'll see who's laughing at the end of that bank appointment.  It could just be that I'm super jealous that people are just that organized, tho. That might be why I'm hating on the wine list.

I'm going to ponder whether or not I'm mature enough for this agenda, whether it's worth the $19.95.  Maybe I kind of like being unorganized to a certain degree.  It's freeing in an odd sort of way...and it's an awesome excuse for everything, "Oh silly me, I forgot we put speed limits out there for a reason, Mr. Policeman...I'm just so scatterbrained.  Just let me write that down for the next time.  Oh, can I borrow that pen?  Thanks, you're a doll!"  

One thing I will never, ever relent on is winning.  I always have to win.  It's just in my blood and it's the only Type A tendency that I will not ignore.  Just ask my brother.  I am in it to win it.  I'm like Monica from Friends.  Don't try to cheat...I will hunt. you. down.  Don't try making up words in Scrabble.  I was going to be an English Major in University.  I know when words aren't really words.  And the whole..."oh, I just need to check the dictionary to see if this word is really a word"...that doesn't fool me one bit mister.  You have no idea what word you're looking for, you just hope one jumps out at you.