Saturday, July 30, 2011

You. Amazing You.

We've had a really super crappy summer so far this year.  I can count the number of sunny days we've had on one hand.  It's been horribly depressing, actually.  And my tan.  Well, it's been so crummy and cloudy that I had to resort to a fake tan in order to look uh...healthy?

My brother and I decided to take Q to the water slides today.  For those of you who remember this *water slide* incident will realize how big this was.  We were all a little nervous, I think.  But dude, we have Disneyland under our belts...we can get through anything.  Water slides are a cinch after California Screamin' and Space Mountain, right?  Right!

I'm a tad overweight.  You know ever since the whole *no smoking* thing (nine months last Saturday.  Holla!) I've become a bit chunky monkey.  It's something I'm...dealing...with.  But I figured that everyone looks better with a tan, right?  It hides all the imperfections, gives you a healthy glow.  Last night I do the whole exfoliation, moisturize, spray tan ritual.  It takes forever.  And you have to walk around naked until the spray tan dries.  In an attempt to speed that process up, and to avoid walking around the house naked while everyone was home (can you say 'awkward'?) I thought it was a fabulous idea to blow dry my skin.  Then I moisturized again.  Only, evidently the tan hadn't dried yet.  But I didn't know that.  And then I went to bed.

This morning I woke up the shade of orange.  Pumpkin orange.    And my feet and hands kind of glowed they were so orange.  It kind of clashed with my blue nail polish too.  So instead of being a whitish beluga whale, I was a bit more of a pumpkin.

Anyways, this isn't even the point of my post today if you can even believe that, I've gone on such a tangent. 

Being a people watcher is an amazing way to pass the time.  I could seriously lose hours of my life just watching other people.  It is just so interesting to me.  So here I was dipping my orange toes with blue nail polish in the hot tub at the water park, watching those around me.  This is what I one has a perfect body.  Not one person.  Not one.  Everyone has cellulite or jigglies here or there.  And as I watched everyone walk by this way or that, I noticed that every woman was uncomfortable with her body.  Whether they had big boobies or small boobies, long legs, or a big bum, every woman tried to cover something.

It made me upset.  Models are made up.  They're airbrushed.  They're not real.  We've started looking at these woman as an image of perfection when really they're fake.  What we have - our thighs, our stretchmarks, our wrinkles - they're real.  They tell a story.  A story of the life we've lived. 

And it got me thinking about how incredible our bodies really are.  Right now, as I sit here and type my fingers have memorized every key on the keyboard.  That's pretty incredible in itself.  However, my body also is building new cells as the old ones die off.  My body automatically knows that it needs to breathe in, and I do it without even thinking!  Amazing!  I blink so my eyes don't dry out.  Brilliant!  I have veins that carry my oxygenated blood to every last inch of my body.  No part is insignificant...not even my baby toe gets forgotten.  I have a skeletal frame that supports my body and I can walk to the fridge to get another beer. 

I may have a few extra pounds on me.  You might have a few hang ups of your own.  But I'd encourage you to think, just for five minutes, about all the amazing things your body can do.  The things that you take for granted.  I mean, dude, I grew a 10lb baby in me.  That's the story those stretch marks tell.  What story does your body tell?  Forget the baggage, forget the drama. 

And another thing I noticed.  Men have no hang ups.  These dudes are walking around with the ugliest toes ever with no second thought about it what-so-ever, as if they've never heard of pedicures.  They've got these guts hanging out and they're strutting around like they're Brad Pitt.  I saw the harriest backs ever.  We're going out and paying hundreds of dollars to get rid of hairy legs and arm pits, and there are guys out there with enough back hair to make a toupee. 

And we're the ones with body issues? 

What's wrong with that, girl??

Oh, and Q did marvelously well.  We went on the scary black water slide that even I freaked out on!!  Uncle S had to do a little *talkin' mommy through it* as we waited on the stairs.  All in all, it was a day I won't soon forget.

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