Friday, September 14, 2012

For the Love of the Game

Q loves hockey.

Q knows everything there is to know about hockey.  Every stat for every player is etched in his memory.  Spelling words?  No.  Hockey stats?  Of course.  When you ask Q what he wants to be when he grows up, it's an NHL player for the Calgary Flames.  He plays NHL Slapshot on his Wii and has *won* the Stanley Cup twice.  Jerome Iginla is his favourite player.

Me, I could care less about hockey.  My most fondest memories about hockey are of it lulling me to sleep when either a boyfriend, my brother, or now my son, watch it on T.V.  There is something about the announcers voices and the swish of the skates and the roar of the crowd that actually puts me to sleep in minutes. 

Countries are in recessions.  Businesses are either losing money hand over fist or going bankrupt.  Children are going to bed hungry every night because their parents cannot afford to feed them three meals a day.

And these effing hockey players think they deserve more of something.  More money?  More job security?  Honestly, I tried to read an article about what their beef was, but I got so bored after the second sentence I decided I didn't mind being uneducated about this.  It's like when people start talking about car parts.  I just totally zone out.  Borrrrrr-ing. 

Side note:  I realized recently that I should probably research things before I go off on rants about them.  I had mentioned a statistic I heard that if you have money in the bank, you are richer than 92% of people in the world.  Someone asked where the stat came from and I had nooooooooo idea.  And then I felt really dumb for just believing crazy, random facts without follow up.  However, having said that...if the above stat makes us feel just a little more grateful for what we have, then it can't be a bad thing that I blindly believed it.  It's not like it was a stat that said 92% of people who buy lottery tickets win over a million dollars.  That would have been harmful to believe...and subsequently advertise to my friends.  Anyways, I will now return to my rant....

To all you selfish hockey players in the NHL:  You play a silly game where you chase around a little puck and then have grown-ass fights with other grown-ass men over that little puck.  You're not curing cancer.  You're not doing brain surgery.  You're not solving world hunger issues.  You play hockey.  I'm sorry that our society has become so single minded that you think what you do is important.  It's not.  Guess what...if tomorrow the NHL folded, you will all be screwed.  You have nothing to fall back on, because most of you skipped out on university so you could play hockey.  You can't complete coherent sentences based on your post hockey sports interviews -" know, we...uh....did what know," - so public speaking is out of the question.   Modelling?  Well half of you are missing your teeth, so perhaps you could model dentures...but that only goes so far. 

Sydney Crosby, you're a special disappointment, because you want more too.  You didn't even play for most of last season (according to Q) due to some sort of concussion.  Sit down and be quiet, Syd.  Seriously. 

Good luck to all of you trying to find a job where you can work for 3 minutes and sit out the next 10 for 90 minutes a day, 2 times a week.  Good luck finding a job that gives you 2-4 months (depending how much you suck at what you get PAID to do) of the year off so you can golf.  I know it will be difficult to say good-bye to your gardener and your pool boy and your driver and hello to your wife and children. 

When you really think about it, the only people you're really disappointing are 8 year olds like my Q who think you guys are amazing.  You're playing for them, really, because the empty arenas prove you're not playing for anyone else.  Calgary Flames, you're disappointing the children who would have benefited from the charity golf tourney that you pulled out of at the last minute - all of you - due to a scheduling conflict.  You're ruining the dreams of 8 year old children.  So, I hope that makes you feel like crap.

I hope they're all locked out for years and years to come.  I hope children will recapture their love for the game by playing it out on the street with their neighbourhood friends far past their bedtimes instead of watching the 19 year old who make 5 million dollars a year play it on T.V.  They'll tell their children all about how way back when they used to watch it on T.V. and maybe a new generation of hockey players will rise up who care more about the game and the spirit than the money.  I hope mothers will run into you guys at the grocery store and beat you over the head with their umbrella for making their sons sad.  I hope grown men will finally say enough is enough and stop watching, betting on, and drinking to your silly little game.

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