Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ode to Berta

I've found a task more daunting than looking for a hubby. I know, I know...you're thinking, "What could possibly compare to that?" Well, my dear friends, let me tell you - I am in the midst of looking for child care for Q.
Let me tell you about Berta. Berta is soft spoken. She never gets cross. She loves my son as if he were her grandson (she has no children or grandchildren of her own.) She has been Q's partner in crime since he was born. She was/is literally on call 24/7 (quite conveniently, she lives two doors down!) She would arrive at 5:00 in the morning (!) while Q was still fast asleep with her little bag of surprises, and settle down with a book until he woke. I had total piece of mind while I was at work. And she's sooooooo much better than Mary Poppins because before she retired, she was a nurse in the Pediatric ICU. Not only did she love my son, but she also knew exactly what to do in the event he was choking, bleeding, unconscious, etc, etc. (total peace of mind for a hypochondriac worrier such as myself...) Berta has come to every birthday, every Christmas concert, every graduation (okay, so it was preschool and there was only one....but she was there. That's the point. And more to the point, she'll likely be there when he graduates high school and medical school too!) She shared with my son her love of gardening, dancing to the 'oldies' and baking.
But Berta is getting older. While she loves my son, taking care of an active 5 year old 5 days a week is just a little too much. Hence the search for a new 'Berta'. Geez, she's set the bar high.
Nothing like interviewing someone to love your child. Here's the clincher...I want you to love him, but not too much. You can't replace me. I want you to be firm and enforce things like manners and good behaviour, but I don't want you to be mean. I'll need you to pick him up from school, so you need to drive safely. Because I work shift work, I need you to tuck him in to bed, and read him stories, and make him a bed time snack. I need you to do all the things that I should be doing. All the things that I imagined I would be doing when I dreamed of having children. All the things I ache to do every day. But you cannot, I repeat CANNOT replace me...
I need them to start on Monday.... Damn, I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator.... I think I'm feeling a little ill..... Obviously, someone didn't win the $20 millions dollars.....


  1. Yikes...You are right. It IS hard to find a good babysitter. Though I still think finding just the right, nice, thoughtful, caring, protective, funny, giving, generous, intelligent man is harder. (I found a babysitter...)

    I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Let us know how it works out. (This would not be a good time to watch the movie "Baby Boom")

  2. ...or 'The Hand that Rocks the Cradle' **shudder**