Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Meet the Teacher

E-harmony is a process.  I guess this is fair - any relationship you embark upon is a series of steps that lead to a friendship or an acquaintance or whatever.  E-harmony has just laid the steps out for you in point form so you can prepare for what is coming next.  Once you've completed the first 4 steps in "guided communication" you read a nice (albeit long) message from Dr. Warren.  Basically, it's a know, the standard...we don't do background checks, follow your intuition, be extra cautious of anyone asks for money (er...there goes that idea...) and then you reach "open communication."  I'm not going to lie, this is a little intimidating.  For the past month or so, you've been guided thru the communication.  They give you a list of questions you can ask and then (these guys have thought of everything...) they give you answers to pick from.  You hardly have to think.  Plus, there's this build-up to the open communication.  This person liked the answers to your first questions, liked the answers to your second (long answer) questions, they've read the warning advice from Dr. Warren, and they still want to talk to you.  What do you talk about?  You know, besides the, seriously...what???

I've reached this step with one guy who's a high school teacher.  For this reason, I shall call him Mr. Kotter (Can you believe this is the only reference to a high school teacher I can think of?  And I've been thinking all day...this is all I've got.  I think it's important to mention, though, that it's really Mr. Kott-ah or Mr. Kot-tair...depending on your level of cool vs. geek.  I also think it's very important to point out that I have only watched this in re-runs...I think I was 2 when it first came out...)

Mr. Kotter is tall (6 feet)...this is good.  Mr. Kotter has a 6 year old daughter.  This is also good.   Very good.  Mr. Kotter is 36.  He likes to laugh (well that's a relief...) and is physically active.  He feels chemistry is very important and can tell within the first few dates if said chemistry is there.  If he could do anything with no consequences, no cost, and no one would ever find out he would 'paint the town red.'  Yup.  You know as much about Mr. Kotter as I do.  Almost a month of "guided" communication and I know that he likes to laugh.  Who - dare I ask - doesn't like to laugh? 


So, he asked about my day, and I mentioned the unusually warm weather we're experiencing right now.  I'm waiting with bated breath for his response...

It's a start.  A beginning, really.  Who knows what may happen.  I'm trying to remain absolutely neutral, but I will say that in the little recesses of my mind I am hopeful.  What if it works out?  Wouldn't it be great to be a stepmom to a little girl only a year older than Q?  And he's a teacher.  That is so fabulous.  Not only is he inspiring young minds, but he can also help Q with his homework!  It's perfect, right?

And I'm only just a little planning our wedding in my head...


  1. I'm doing the e-harmony thing right now as well. A few prospects, but this one guy e-mailed me with his 'expectations' of 'how to proceed' once we got to open communication.

    He outlined that he didn't like to e-mail. Wanted to IM or skype to see if this warranted a 'meeting'. As we were coming up on Christmas I sat on it a few days. It just felt so business. And I told him so. Honesty, right?

    So he sends me this e-mail lambasting me about how humans were meant to communicate blahblahblah.

    I just closed the match. Geez. If he's all panties in a bunch over one e-mail, red flags everywhere!

    Good luck with Mr. Kot-tier!

  2. Well, I had it in my head what I was going to say until I read f8hasit's response. Blew all thoughts from my mind. What kind of a bilge-drinking, powder-headed maggot would be upset by an email. I like email because it forces one to communicate from the inside out. IM's can do that too, I suppose, but they are nothing more than a more speedy email. Hats off to f8hasit for closing the match.

    Follow your intuition. Listen to the inner voice. That's all I can say. Good luck. I have my fingers crossed.

    And I love Mr. Kott-ah.

  3. I think I could possibly write a whole post just in response to the two of you!! I will try, however, to keep it short.

    1. Hello..."You've Got Mail" is probably the best chick flick movie ever made. The way to a woman's heart is thru her mind. Wow her with the written word and she is yours forever. Why else are musicians so popular??? It's certainly not for their hygiene...

    2. Business-like? How about controlling-like!!!! You give me a list of expectations for how we can chat and I will give you a list of ways to not let the door hit you on the way out.

    3. Arguements before meeting are an omen. Arguements on the second e-mail just goes to show what tools men can be.

    4. If it weren't for men, though...I'd have nothing to blog about....

  4. HAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa....aaaah, yes. Much as I complain about men, there is something about them that intrigues me and captures my heartbeats.

  5. And I TOTALLY agree with "You've Got Mail" being the best!