Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Seconds (or less)

Listen up, ladies, because I have found a guaranteed way to scare men away. 10 seconds....or less (hence the title...) They will run so fast they will be tripping over their words and feet as they scurry out the door. I know this because I tried it today, you know, because I had absolutely nothing to lose.
Mr. (un) fab came knocking again (okay, figuratively...it was a text, of course...so predictable, that guy.) This actually works to my favour, because I'm so much more creative with the written word than I am with the spoken word. I'm downright waxing poetic in these texts. It's brilliant, really. So after a few texts about his actions-and-words-not-jiving issues, I laid it all out on the table. I told him that I was at total peace right now, and my life was calm and wonderful because I was going to church.
I'm pretty confident I won't be hearing from Mr. (un) fab ever again. Seriously, 10 seconds...
He wished me well, and said he was so glad that I was happy. But that I should be really careful (and now I'm kicking myself for not saving the text, so I could repeat verbatim) because churches have a tendency to become "cult-like" and that I should "BEWARE" (seriously, capital letters and everything...) But don't get him wrong, he's 'religious' too. He believes there's a power higher than himself. I clarified that I'm not 'religious', but that I have been "saved by Grace" to which he said, "Be careful, hun" (ugh, so condescending) and after a few drawn out bu-byes, he was gone.
I did feel a little sad. Because I knew then that Mr. (un) Fab was really, truly unfabulous. Whatever else I liked or disliked about him seemed inconsequential because the more I talked about my faith, the more convinced he was that I was going to start wearing long, flowy peasant dresses, while singing 'Kum Ba Yah' and drinking Kool-aid. It bothered me, to say the least. But after a minute or two of feeling sorry for myself, I came to the realization that a new chapter cannot begin until the one before has been finished. I finished the (un) Fab chapter today. I finished it. There will be no waiting or hoping for his text, because I have moved on.
Now, there's just excitement for the next chapter. Someone who gets Christianity on a level deeper than religion, and can realize it's so much more than rituals and ideals - that it's a relationship. I have no idea where this man will come from, I have no idea when - but I have faith.

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