Monday, September 28, 2009

Man Eater

"Of course I'll marry you. Yes, yes, yes!"
There has been no news on the dating front - and by that I mean no bites on POF. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. I've had two messages. One from a guy who just moved to Van and would like someone to show him around. Uhhhh, that might be an euphemism for something 'else,' but let's just say that it isn' I have time - on top of being a full time mom, and working full time - to be a tour guide as well. Sounds a little too much like work to me, and not the fun kind...
The second guy was short and overweight and spent his whole profile talking about how sick he is of people judging him by his appearance, and how shocked we'd all be if we gave him a chance. Seriously, he went on and on and on. To be fair, he does have a point. I know I'm guilty of judging a book by its cover, however, if I'm going to spend forever with someone, I'd like to be physically attracted to him. That's just me though. Furthermore, what I find attractive is most likely different from what you find attractive (Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp aside...) so I think buddy just needs to be patient and his princess will come along. How's that for ironic? Me, giving dating advice, about patience no less. This is what got me..."I would love for a beautiful girl like you to give a guy like me a chance..." Waaaaiiiit a minute here. So, looks aren't supposed to matter to me, and if they do, I'm a superficial you-know-what. But, it's okay for looks to matter to you. How fair is that? Talk about a double standard.
I've dated a few men in my time, and probably none were considered "hot" or "gorgeous" but there was an attraction there that I saw, that I felt. Let's get serious, though. If there's not physical attraction, don't we call them...friends? I'm not looking for another 'friend' thank you very much...
So, I'm trying to figure out what it is about my profile that isn't attracting men. I think I might be a little too honest. And sometimes honesty sounds a little um....bitter. I wrote it thinking it made me sound strong and empowered. But it's probably, oh what's the word...ah, yes... scary to a man. Men want women who are strong and self assured. They DO NOT want women who have "baggage". They do not want women who rip their bra's off and burn them, while carrying handmade cardboard signs that read "We Hate Men..." or something close to that anyways. To be clear, I have no desire to burn my bra. I really like the support it gives. And burning it would be like burning $50.00. Not to mention the fire hazard it poses (but maybe that's just the mom/paranoid in me...)
I guess the challenge here is to tone down the bitter man-hating vibe, while not sacrificing my strength and independence. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to change who I am, but I'm really not a man hater. I love men. They're wonderful. I think men like to think that women are a little vulnerable, and need a big strong man to take care of them. I think I like the thought of being a little vulnerable...but just a little...


  1. Have you thought about writing a book? Seriously, you have a great style. And in one simple blog you can have me feeling sad and laughing out loud.


    PS As strong as I think I am, the flip side contains that element of vulnerability no matter how hard I try to wipe it out. Is it nature, perchance?

  2. Oh Ms. Sherman, you have just made my day. Seriously, you absolutely have. Hopefully, one day a novel-ist I will be...I just need two things...1)an idea... and 2) time. (which by the way is inconsequential until #1 comes along!!)

    Thank you for the encouragement, though. And I totally agree, you cannot have the Yin without the Yang :)

  3. So you have just now discovered my comments?
    I'm smiling.


    Just keep asking yourself, "What if?" What if that guy that just flipped you off went around the next corner too fast and crashed into a tree. What if you stopped to help and pulled him out of the car? What if you called an ambulance and while the paramedics were loading him he woke and asked you to call his brother, handing you his cell?
    What if you called and met the brother at the emergency room and he was drop dead gorgeous, single and grateful you saved his snotty brother?

    Let your mind wander. I think you have what it takes. When Q is in school full time, see if you can take a writing class in the morning. Join a writing group. Form a "critique group".

    Also, you can go into "customize--settings--comments" of your blog and have any comments you receive emailed to you so you know you have received one.

    Your follower, Melanie

    P.S. And thanks for following my blog, too. I appreciate you.