Man Eater

"Of course I'll marry you. Yes, yes, yes!"

There has been no news on the dating front - and by that I mean no bites on POF. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. I've had two messages. One from a guy who just moved to Van and would like someone to show him around. Uhhhh, that might be an euphemism for something 'else,' but let's just say that it isn't...like I have time - on top of being a full time mom, and working full time - to be a tour guide as well. Sounds a little too much like work to me, and not the fun kind...

The second guy was short and overweight and spent his whole profile talking about how sick he is of people judging him by his appearance, and how shocked we'd all be if we gave him a chance. Seriously, he went on and on and on. To be fair, he does have a point. I know I'm guilty of judging a book by its cover, however, if I'm going to spend forever with someone, I'd like to be physically attracted to him. That's just me though. Furthermore, what I find attractive is most likely different from what you find attractive (Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp aside...) so I think buddy just needs to be patient and his princess will come along. How's that for ironic? Me, giving dating advice, about patience no less. This is what got me..."I would love for a beautiful girl like you to give a guy like me a chance..." Waaaaiiiit a minute here. So, looks aren't supposed to matter to me, and if they do, I'm a superficial you-know-what. But, it's okay for looks to matter to you. How fair is that? Talk about a double standard.

I've dated a few men in my time, and probably none were considered "hot" or "gorgeous" but there was an attraction there that I saw, that I felt. Let's get serious, though. If there's not physical attraction, don't we call them...friends? I'm not looking for another 'friend' thank you very much...

So, I'm trying to figure out what it is about my profile that isn't attracting men. I think I might be a little too honest. And sometimes honesty sounds a little um....bitter. I wrote it thinking it made me sound strong and empowered. But it's probably, oh what's the word...ah, yes... scary to a man. Men want women who are strong and self assured. They DO NOT want women who have "baggage". They do not want women who rip their bra's off and burn them, while carrying handmade cardboard signs that read "We Hate Men..." or something close to that anyways. To be clear, I have no desire to burn my bra. I really like the support it gives. And burning it would be like burning $50.00. Not to mention the fire hazard it poses (but maybe that's just the mom/paranoid in me...)

I guess the challenge here is to tone down the bitter man-hating vibe, while not sacrificing my strength and independence. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to change who I am, but I'm really not a man hater. I love men. They're wonderful. I think men like to think that women are a little vulnerable, and need a big strong man to take care of them. I think I like the thought of being a little vulnerable...but just a little...