I Must Be Dreaming

In this very serious post, I referenced a lighter side of me and my sleep - namely my dreams.

To be fair, I do sleep a lot.  Like more than the average single mom who works full time.  My free time is not spent baking or cleaning, it's spent sleeping.  I'm not afraid to admit it, it's what makes me sane.  And beautiful.  At least, that 's what people say...  If I don't get on average 9-10 hours, I'm grumpy as all get out...and the frown lines do nothing for a pretty face, neither do the bags under my eyes.

Dreams.  What do they mean?  How does your sub-conscious come up with that shit?  Seriously? 

I once had a dream that I was at a wedding where the groomsmen were albino matadors wearing fluorescent green and blue sombreros and I was the one who was overdressed.  I'm not even joking.  My conscious can't even come up with something that elaborate.  And no I did not watch 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'The Three Amigos' back to back.  That might explain things a little better.  But no...

I have a re-occurring dream that I'm going on a trip with my best friend (to Glasgow, Vegas...) and we've booked the trip, I really don't want to go, and I don't have a passport.  We get to the airport, we're checking in, I'm sweating like crazy...they ask for my passport, and I have to tell them I don't have one.  Everyone looks at me in shock, my best friend glaring...and I have to feign stupidity - "I had no idea I needed one"  I say quietly.  We all know it's lie.  Sometimes I actually even get to the boarding lounge before I get caught, but I always, always get caught.

I go to work in my pajamas because I cannot find my work clothes.  Last night, I returned to work after a weeks holiday (totally true) and I didn't recognize any of my employees.  And instead of 16, I had 101.  I couldn't recognize one.  It didn't help that 5 of them were wearing Burqas.  And they had renovated the whole building to make it look like an underground tunnel, so I couldn't find my office, let alone my clipboard.  There were parcels and mail everywhere - on the floor, under tables, piled high on top of tables, in the crevices of the cave.  No one seemed to notice, or even care.  And there was a leak in the ceiling.

While looking for a new home, I had a dream we were out and about looking at houses when a spaceship appeared in the sky.  It was actually shaped like a ship - a cruise ship.  It was totally normal that an alien spaceship landed in front of us.  We just kept looking at this yellow house with a little picket fence and a park by a lake.  Until my limbs froze and I couldn't walk a single step.  Looking back on it now, it was probably the aliens who had paralyzed me. 

There was the dream that I had lost both my hands.  I woke up in a sweat, and realized that I was sleeping in the fetal position with my hands tucked between my knees and I was cutting off the circulation to them. 

I have dreams all the time that my teeth are falling out.  Like the front one that everyone can see, and I have no idea how I'm going to cover it up.  How am I going to fix it?  How much is it going to cost?  Even in my dreams I am so totally practical.  And afraid of the dentist.  Even in my dreams, the dentist haunts me. 

I had a terrifying dream that I was kidnapped by the Israeli government and trained as a soldier and had to escape by hiding in a tree for 10 days in the snow. 

Yes, someone who sleeps as much as I should have as many dreams as I do...but what are they all about?  They're ridiculously outrageous.  They're incredibly vivid.  Full of colour and emotion and crazy.  People from my past that I haven't even thought of in years suddenly pop up in a dream.  There are dreams filled with crazy romance and love.  The likes of which I've not experienced before.  But I can never see his face.  I wonder who he is and whether I'll ever meet him.