Monday, April 11, 2011

Constructive vs. Destructive

It has been brought to my attention by a very reliable source that I'm a little *gasp* boring.  Actually, he might not be that reliable...he's my brother.  But he has said a few things lately that have made me introspective. 

The first thing he said was a few weeks ago when we were driving by our neighbour, Dick, and he waved.  I'm pretty sure his name isn't really Dick, but one day he came and knocked on our door (the nerve, right?) and asked us not to park on the street in front of his house, because then he couldn't park there.  The fact that he has a two car garage and driveway seems to have escaped him, but he is a man, and they don't usually get points for being *observant*.  But now look at me, I'm getting distracted.  Anyways, he kept saying, "I don't mean to be a dick about it..." and "It's not actually's my wife"!!  Can you even believe it?  He throws his wife under the bus?  Unbelievable.  So, my brother waves to Dick, and I'm like, "Why did you just wave to Dick?  I go out of my way to ignore Dick, and you're waving?"  And my brother says...

"Well, that's why no one likes you [or maybe it was, 'why you have no friends...whatever] because you're just like that.  Maybe if you were a little friendlier, you'd have more friends [or more people will like you...]"  He goes on to tell me that I'm going to be a bitter old woman who's all alone. 

Uh....ouch.  But he was such a dick. 

Then he's trying to convince me to join some sort of group that gets me out of the house (I might have been complaining about being single forever and never getting out of the house, but I was looking for sympathy...not constructive criticism.  Geez.)  So he tells me to join this events and adventures.  It's a group of singles that go out and *do* things - like group kayaking or ice skating or karaoke.  It's just fun and no pressure and yeah, maybe if you're a loser.  I might as well go to a a support group - Hi, my name is C and I'm a single loser, let's go bungee jumping!  I have visions of you all holding onto a rope, so you don't get lost.  Or you all have the same t shirts that you have to wear during an 'outing' in case you get lost.  I bet the leader carries a bull horn and calls out to all the singletons.  How do you do something like that without feeling like you've sunk to the lowest of the low?

He made some comment last night about how exciting I was sitting on the couch on a Sunday night with my mother watching America's Funniest Home Videos.  What can I say?  That show is funny.

But, it's all made me think.  Am I a loser?  Will I be that bitter old woman who lives at the end of the street  that all the kids are afraid to ride their bikes by?  You know, the one with the cats?  The one they make movies misunderstood she is...all she really wants is a friend...

Will that be me??????

It's comfortable, the life I live.  Sure it's not exciting.  But I'm up every morning at 5:45 (okay...the alarm goes off at 5:45...I'm usually up by 6:00.  Or 6:15.  Well, always by 6:20...)  I'm too tired to be exciting, too.  But part of the lure of working days was having evenings to do things.  Plus, I spend all day with people, I like quiet evenings.  And dicks should be treated like dicks, they're not worth my time.  I would rather hit my snooze button one more time than wave to a dick who lives down the street.  Does this mean that I need to be a little more forgiving? 

Lately my brother and I haven't really agreed on anything except for the gal he's dating, and even then we don't really see eye to eye because I think he should have married her like, last year....and he seems to think it might be better to have a job first.  Basically, we talk about the weather and anything else gets me all frustrated. 

Maybe I should do something exciting.  Maybe I should join a club or take a class or pick up a hobby.  Who knows...maybe I will start saying 'hi' to strangers and waving to dicks.  I'm going to look into this.  But I am not, I repeat not going to join a singles adventure group, okay?  Okay. 


  1. Your brother is absolutely wrong.You are what you are.Why should you change for the sake of changing. I really like and your posts too.

    Take Care

  2. I really like you and your posts.'You' is missing above.


  3. that means a lot to me, thank you so much for your kind words.