Walking to my car after work today, my employee started up a little convo with me. It's funny, because from day one she's been really very personal with all the questions, but we all know how much I love talking about me, so of course I don't mind. I think she's in a funk.
A marriage induced funk.
You know the one. The "I'm so not appreciated. He doesn't love me. I don't love him. Look at him sitting there, like he doesn't know. I remember when we used to be so in love. He used to talk to me. Now, nothing. Nothing." We've all been there, whether married or not. Some of us choose to move on, others of us choose to work it out. Someone somewhere said that the secret to their long, successful marriage was that neither one of them fell out of love at the same time. Sometimes, no matter what, it just doesn't work. For me, I was just way too angry to ever get that loving feeling back again. Now, I look at him and feel nothing...except for the occasional pang of pity.
Anyways I think she's looking for permission to be miserable in her marriage. I'm somewhat of a poster child for *single motherhood* in her eyes, I think. Or maybe I'm just another woman to whom can she can relate. Whatever the case may be, we began talking today and she asked me what I thought were the top three signs you're in love.
Well, I'm no expert and I'll never, ever claim to be (well...not on love anyways...) but this is how I will know that I am in love with someone and that they're in love with me....
1. Respect - You respect their time, ideas, beliefs, thoughts, mind, heart, body.
2. Compromise - You are willing to compromise something that is important to the other person in order to make them happy. You want them to be happy. You want to take care of them.
3. Companionship - You enjoy their company. (Kinda a big deal, huh?)
Sure the butterflies are amazing. Feeling like you're going to throw up with excitement every time you see them is fabulous. But at the end of the day, feeling like you're about to barf is not a practical way to go through life. Butterflies belong in places other than your stomach. So when those things go away there has to be something left behind that matters. Those three things matter to me more than anything else.
I mean, ya...it would be cool if he's super funny, looks like Brad Pitt and has abs like David Beckham...
I'm just sayin'...
Oh, oh, oh...and white teeth like that guy on American Idol right now. That would be nice, too.
What are your 'Top 3'? I'd really like to know, so don't be shy!!