Friday, July 10, 2009

Please Play Again

Sigh. Remember the vacation I blogged about? The one I was sooooo excited to start. The one I said wouldn't matter if it rained every day because I'd be watching raindrops fall with my favourite people in the whole world? Remeber that? Ya, guess rained...actually to be more accurate, it poured, like torrential rains, for THREE whole days. We came home early. Turns out, watching the raindrops fall - even with your favourite people - gets old. Fast. And how's this for ironic...the sun came out just how we drove away from the cabin. This is so my life. I've said before that if my life were made into a movie or a book - the title most definitely, without question would be "please play again..." My vacation, case in point. It's like 32 degrees there right now. Play again, Cat, play again. Men, unfortunately fall into this category as well. Two men specifically come to mind. First of all, there is Mr. (un) fab (formally known as Mr. Fabulous, but now is absolutely Mr. (un) fab.) When I first met him (on POF...I know...ugh, right????), oh he was fabulous...FABULOUS. He was kind and hilarous and a super single dad. We had this instant connection. We were inseperable for the first week or so, and then he disappeared. He'd text or call every now and then until even that dissolved into nothingness. For three whole months it was nothingness until about a month ago when he suddenly started texting, and calling, and telling me how much he missed me, and how amazing I am, and how he missed my kisses most of all. Sweet, right? Of course, I melted. I am a princess looking for my prince, how could I not melt? Well, we still haven't met. He always has an excuse. He always bails, usually the day before, but last night it was 3 hours before we were going to go out for dinner. I want him to leave me alone. I know he must be lying about something. I think he's married. Last week, he told me he couldn't chat because he was watching a movie with his mom and dad. He is so married. See, please play again. What started out as seemingly perfect,turned out to be the opposite. Guy number two came into my life quite unexpectedly. He was wonderful and kind, and I respected him totally. I just loved his friendship and saw it as nothing more than that. I valued his opinion and his thoughts. Well, he started mentioning the attraction. So I let myself go there...what if? Maybe? Next thing you know and I am hooked. Totally hooked. Suddenly he is gone. Just gone. And then I find out he's in a new relationship. I feel so used. I think he told me the things he wanted to say to this other woman, because I was safe, until he knew how the other woman would react. I was a diversion until he tested the waters with her. I wasn't even asking for that from him. I was content on my own, as a single woman. I followed his lead, and fell hard and fast. Now, we're not even friends as far as I know. I haven't heard from him in weeks. Lets all say it together folks, "please play again." So close, and yet so far away. I don't get it. I don't know why I have such shitty luck. I am having a pity party for one. All I want is to be content. A fabulous man in my life would be awesome, but what I do not want is these bastards. Why am I a bastard magnet? Down in the dumps, I am down in the dumps.

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