Deja Vu

You know that movie “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell? Well, I will let you in on a little secret. That movie is my life. True story.

Every morning at 7:53am, we run for the elevator (hey I only get paid for 8 hours, I’m only gonna work for 8 hours. They want me here before my shift starts, well…), I get into my car and every morning, the clock reads 7:58…every single morning. Two days ago, I got to the intersection at Oak and 41st and the exact same bus that was sitting there the day before was there with an advertisement for Jack FM that says “keep on rockin’ me baby” across the back. I see the same Honda Element every morning, with this funky plaid paint job. There is always the one car turning left that I am stuck behind, because every other car was in the right lane, and going the speed limit (I think we’ve already discussed my speed/road rage issues).

My every night starts with me hitting the snooze button at least 5 times. I purposely set it half an hour early just so that I can hit the snooze button. I used to think I wasn’t a good morning person, but I’ve since realized that I’m not a good waker-upper. It takes me a good hour to shake the cob webs out of this noggin – and that’s with coffee.

Point is that it’s pretty hard to get out of a rut when your whole life is a rut. Did you know that the definition of *insane* is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result? That runs shivers down my spine. About the only excitement I have in my life right now is what pair of earrings I’m going to wear to work.

Seriously, what is there? I can’t smoke for obvious reasons, I know. But still, it was always something to look forward to. I haven’t been able to look forward to a cigarette for 8 ½ weeks now. In an attempt to not gain another 30 lbs from not smoking, I also cannot eat excess amounts of chocolate…also something to look forward to that I can no longer look forward to. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve lost almost 10 lbs this time around, although that’s not confirmed. Drinking is nice, but it’s just a little loser-ish to drink alone all the time and not quite as much fun, either. And the last time I went on a date was sometime in 2009 and that one doesn’t even count, ‘cause I’m pretty sure he was high and doesn’t remember any of it anyways.

Normally, I’m one to look at all the above and think, “Wow, her glass is half empty!” but instead (and because it’s me, and not someone else…) I prefer to think, “Wow, what will power that girl has!” Seriously, the last year has been a lesson in will power. No smoking, no over-eating, no married men (no men at all, to be clear). I’m waiting around for the healthy food, not the junk (most of the time, ahem….did you know McDonald’s has salads now? Very nice, indeed, but I’ve heard they’ve got more fat and more calories than their burgers…I just feel so much healthier eating lettuce than beef…). Everything in moderation, I always (never) say.

I’m being much pickier with the men too. Hmmm, maybe *picky* isn’t the right word. I mean, so what if they’ve only got four toes on their left foot (ewww!) or one eye is a little lazy, I’m looking for a manly man - one who knows how to take care of a woman – although, that’s really a fine line…being attentive, but not a scary stalker or a controlling ass. But the task of finding this man is like gardening – well, if you’re gardening in my flower beds - a whole hell of a lot of weeds and not many flowers. Especially when I’ve been single for 4 years (*gasp* this month - four years). I think I’m allowed to be a little picky, I’ve been waiting long enough.

Hopefully, next year will be filled with less cravings, lots of healthy food, and one good man.

Cross your fingers for me.

And your toes.