Happy New Year

Two days after Christmas, my baby gave to me a fever of a hundred and one.  Unfortunately, I will be ringing in the New Year with my couch, my housecoat and a nice hot cup of tea (and ringing in my ears).  I have missed three days of work, although I did go in one night, just to leave half way through.  I haven't eaten anything other than pasta or soup for four days because my throat is so unbelievably sore.  I dress in layers (like 5 of them...) most of the time due to the chills, although strip down when the fever spikes.  I can't remember the last time I was this sick.  And I'm such a baby when I'm sick.  I wimper.  I whine.  I groan.

This is not really how I planned to spend my New Year, although I didn't really have any plans at all. 

How are you planning to ring in the New Year?

Q can't wait to see the 'ball' drop at midnight.  I think he's thinking it's going to be much more spectacular than it actually is...

I can't wait for my bed.

Happy New Year.  Here's hoping that 2011 is fabulous for us all.

'Q'-isms

Merry Christmas, to my Blogger friends!  From Juba, Sudan to Calgary, Canada and Kerala, India to (the other) Vancouver, USA may you all be blessed with the true spirit of Christmas, with peace and with joy.

Yesterday, Q and Uncle Steve went to do a little last minute Christmas shopping so Mommy could get a couple hours nap in after working all night long.  Before they left, I gave Q ten dollars in case he got hungry or thirsty along the way and a ten minute lecture on what to do if he and Uncle Steve got separated while shopping on Christmas Eve.  I'm usually procrastinator of the year, I know what malls are like on Christmas Eve, and I can freely admit this because I know my brother doesn't read my blog (hahaha) but I was having a little panic attack as the drove off. 

Anyways, a few hours later they both arrived home safely.  They were showing me what they had picked out for Nana, and Uncle Steve (hereafter referred to as US) told me that Q had given his $10.00 to put towards the gift.  I looked a Q, who was stoically staring ahead, and said:

Me:  Awwww, honey!  You didn't use the money on yourself?  You put it towards Nana's present?  That is so thoughtful of you.

He looks directly at Uncle Steve and says, "No, I didn't."

US:  Yes, you did.  You gave me the money in the store, remember?

Q:  Ya, and you took it.

US:  Yes, I did.  And I put it towards Nana's present.

Q:  No, you didn't.  You put it in your wallet.  I saw you.

US:  That's because I paid with my debit card.

Q:  Oh.  So what are you going to do with the money I gave you then?

After a few minutes of trying to explain the concept of debit cards and cash (Q thinks there is an endless supply of money in my bank account.  Sadly, often times I do as well...) we still couldn't convince Q that the money he had so generously given up was being put towards Nana's present.  Poor little guy still thinks Uncle Steve stole his money in plain day for all to see.

Christmas can be confusing for a kid:

Q:  What's Mistletoe, Mommy?  Why would people kiss under it?

Q:  What's a Winter Wonderland, Nana?

Q:  Mommy, Santa forgot to take the price tag off this one!

I never actually remember believing in Santa.  I think I was always way too practical for that.  I love Q's innocence and that he believes so wholeheartedly.  However, it is exhausting staying on top of things, especially with a super observant little guy.  Different wrapping paper (and then hiding the evidence), different gift tags, different hand writing, remembering to take the price tags off.

Hmmm, maybe I should go take another look before he comes home from his dads...

T'was the Night/Early Morning Before the Night Before

Oh...come on...it's funny...

On the day before Christmas, my employees gave to me:


Pearl Drop Earrings
An Engraved Key Chain
Cookies just for Q
SJP Perfume
Chocolate Cranberry squares

A *Starbucks* Card

Butter Pecan Tarts
Yummy Samosa’s
Macadamia Cookies
Homemade Shortbread
A Secret Santa Present

And they all stayed awake for 8 hours (spoke too soon...bugger, it totally rhymed too……)

Only three more business days and I will be moving to a new building, with new employees. Every day since I accepted the transfer, I have questioned whether or not it was a good move.

Remember how afraid I was that no one would like me here? How I wouldn’t learn the job fast enough? How I wouldn’t get enough sleep? Well, the one valid worry was the sleep, and I wonder if that’s enough of a reason to solidify a whole decision. The employees in my section have over 300 years combined experience. Do you know what that means for a Supervisor? It means that I have to do very little to manage the process, because it’s a huge insult telling a person who’s been with the company longer than I’ve been alive how to do their job. There’s always one in every crowd, so I have to tell one or two what to do, but mostly my job here consists of managing the people. This really is a good thing for me, because I am a people manager, process smocess I always say. After a super stressful (in a good way, though) job before this one, it’s been nice to sit back and erm….work very, very hard, as always…(phew! Nice recovery, huh?)

And I didn’t know how I’d get along with the other supervisors on this shift, either. I was surprised to find out that the majority of us are the same age with young children, so we always had something to talk about. The pretty supervisor I share my *office* (okay, my office is two desks behind a bright yellow railing, whatever. It’s my *virtual office*) well, he’s just so funny. We laugh and laugh, sometimes so hard that tears are streaming down our faces and our tummy’s hurt. I haven’t laughed like that in ages.

Staying here wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, it wouldn’t be bad at all. There’s even the off chance that I could run into my old employees and then I don’t feel homesick for them. One or two (or five or ten) really stand as a testament to how often we misjudge people, how much people can change when given the opportunity, and how being part of a motley crew just isn’t that bad at all. Before I went to the dock, I was told that “those guys” were scary and I wouldn’t like them at all.

I’m reminded that all my fears about my new job in the new building are completely ridiculous and unfounded. Quite honestly, I’m more afraid of how I’ll find the front door than I am about my new employees. Seriously, I googled the new building, so that I would know where it was, and it’s fricken huge, I don’t know how I’m going to find my way to the bathroom, let alone my new work area. That’s the only real thing I’m worrying about right now…which probably isn’t even “real” because I’m sure they have signs with arrows….right?

I think we totally undervalue the importance of a good night’s sleep. We really do. It’s horrible waking up tired every single day, and day dreaming about your pillow and your duvet. I’m grumpy all the time (poor Q), and I snap at the most ridiculous things. Sometimes, I just put my head in my hands because I’m so tired, I don’t know what to do. Do I get the Maxi’s with wings or without? You laugh, but I’m so tired, I can’t make a decision to save my life. Paper or plastic? Good thing they don’t as that anymore…but now it’s Bag or No Bag? Here’s a little tip, cashiers around the world: If I have more than 4 items, I’m gonna need a bag.

I might not have as much time with Q, going to days. Someone will have to drop him off and pick him up from school most days, but I truly believe that the quality of time that we have together will be so much better. Right now, I’m “not any fun” and “boring” – hopefully come the New Year, I’ll be “lotsa fun” and “so not boring” because let’s face it…the kid is only 6. If I’m getting eye rolls and “not any fun’s” now…I can’t even imagine what 12 is going to be like.

The gift of acceptance...knowing that you don't know what's before you, but being okay with that.  I think that's what I've learned most this year at work.  In addition to all the tangible gifts I mentioned above, I also received a hand shake, a hug, and the Christmas card I gave one of my employees'...well, it has a spot on his Christmas Tree.  That is a place of honour, if I do say so myself.

What gifts have you received, tangible or otherwise, this Christmas?

Deja Vu

You know that movie “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell? Well, I will let you in on a little secret. That movie is my life. True story.

Every morning at 7:53am, we run for the elevator (hey I only get paid for 8 hours, I’m only gonna work for 8 hours. They want me here before my shift starts, well…), I get into my car and every morning, the clock reads 7:58…every single morning. Two days ago, I got to the intersection at Oak and 41st and the exact same bus that was sitting there the day before was there with an advertisement for Jack FM that says “keep on rockin’ me baby” across the back. I see the same Honda Element every morning, with this funky plaid paint job. There is always the one car turning left that I am stuck behind, because every other car was in the right lane, and going the speed limit (I think we’ve already discussed my speed/road rage issues).

My every night starts with me hitting the snooze button at least 5 times. I purposely set it half an hour early just so that I can hit the snooze button. I used to think I wasn’t a good morning person, but I’ve since realized that I’m not a good waker-upper. It takes me a good hour to shake the cob webs out of this noggin – and that’s with coffee.

Point is that it’s pretty hard to get out of a rut when your whole life is a rut. Did you know that the definition of *insane* is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result? That runs shivers down my spine. About the only excitement I have in my life right now is what pair of earrings I’m going to wear to work.

Seriously, what is there? I can’t smoke for obvious reasons, I know. But still, it was always something to look forward to. I haven’t been able to look forward to a cigarette for 8 ½ weeks now. In an attempt to not gain another 30 lbs from not smoking, I also cannot eat excess amounts of chocolate…also something to look forward to that I can no longer look forward to. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve lost almost 10 lbs this time around, although that’s not confirmed. Drinking is nice, but it’s just a little loser-ish to drink alone all the time and not quite as much fun, either. And the last time I went on a date was sometime in 2009 and that one doesn’t even count, ‘cause I’m pretty sure he was high and doesn’t remember any of it anyways.

Normally, I’m one to look at all the above and think, “Wow, her glass is half empty!” but instead (and because it’s me, and not someone else…) I prefer to think, “Wow, what will power that girl has!” Seriously, the last year has been a lesson in will power. No smoking, no over-eating, no married men (no men at all, to be clear). I’m waiting around for the healthy food, not the junk (most of the time, ahem….did you know McDonald’s has salads now? Very nice, indeed, but I’ve heard they’ve got more fat and more calories than their burgers…I just feel so much healthier eating lettuce than beef…). Everything in moderation, I always (never) say.

I’m being much pickier with the men too. Hmmm, maybe *picky* isn’t the right word. I mean, so what if they’ve only got four toes on their left foot (ewww!) or one eye is a little lazy, I’m looking for a manly man - one who knows how to take care of a woman – although, that’s really a fine line…being attentive, but not a scary stalker or a controlling ass. But the task of finding this man is like gardening – well, if you’re gardening in my flower beds - a whole hell of a lot of weeds and not many flowers. Especially when I’ve been single for 4 years (*gasp* this month - four years). I think I’m allowed to be a little picky, I’ve been waiting long enough.

Hopefully, next year will be filled with less cravings, lots of healthy food, and one good man.

Cross your fingers for me.

And your toes.

Transaction Not Approved

After work this morning, I decided to go shopping.  I knew that if I went home and straight to bed, I would lie awake in bed thinking, "Oh, I need to go here to get this and there to get that."  I was being proactive.  Then, I reasoned, I could go home and sleep like a baby knowing that everything I needed to do was done. 

Ya.  It didn't work.

I would kill for a smoke right now.

First of all, when I'm tired I'm not the most decisive person ever.  I ended up wandering around aimlessly, picking things up, carrying them around, then putting them back and picking something else up.  For an hour.  Finally, I find what I *think* I'm looking for and stand in line.  But when I try to pay, my bank card won't work. It says 'Transaction Not Completed' which to me means that there's a missed connection somewhere, but to the cashier, it means, "Oh, your card has been declined," really loud, so everyone can hear.  I'm like, "No.  It means that the transaction wasn't completed."  And she replies, "Ya, they couldn't complete the transaction, because there isn't enough money in your account."  Blasted, I'm in my uniform...you know, because I've just come from work...so I can't get all up in her face, but boy oh boy, I was really super tempted.  So I calmly leave, go to the bank and take out the cash, no problem-o. 

Next, I stop to pick up a remote control car for Q from my dad and it's on sale, so I'm super stoked.  Go to pay for it with my card that is now working (right?) and this time it decides that I've 'Exceeded Daily Limit'.  Of course, of course I have.  I nearly scream at the cashier, "NO I HAVEN'T!!!!  I HAVEN'T!!!!!!"  But instead, I calmly smile and say, "Okay, I'll just come back later.  I must be having a problem with my card."

Here I am... I've just wasted two hours that I could have spent sleeping.  And I just checked my bank account.  Absolutely nothing is wrong with my card.  There is money in there, just like I knew there would be.  I have not exceeded my daily limit.  Ugh.  I want a cigarette so bad...

It's been almost two months, FYI.  On Saturday, I will be two months smoke free.  How is it possible that I could still really, really, really want one?  Maybe I should go to bed.  You can't crave a ciggie when you're sleeping, can you? 

That is, if I can sleep.  I'll probably just lie awake, thinking of all the things I *still* need to do.

Has Panic Set in Yet?

On the third day of Christmas, the company gave to me sixty bucks an hour to supervise. Well, here we are folks…the busiest time of the year at the post office. My employees are all whistling away (I finally yelled, “If YOU’RE ALL GOING TO WHISTLE, AT LEAST WHISTLE THE SAME SONG!” Miraculously, the whistling stopped.) No one has fallen asleep, probably because of the incessant whistling. And in a crazy twist of fate, it’s me that’s trying to stay awake. If you’re like most people in the world, you’ve sent off your Christmas cards and gifts to all your loved ones around the world (complete with correct postage, of course). If you’re like me…you’re utterly shocked to find out there are only 12 days and 19 hours until Christmas.

How did this happen?  I'm NOT ready.  At all.

Here is an interesting little tidbit of trivia for you...  If you have relatives in South America, you should have sent them their Christmas card by November 29, and their parcels by December 1. Have no fear though, because for a small fortune, you still have until December 17 to get them there. If your relatives live in Africa, you have until Wednesday. Now, I’m not going to lie. You’ll probably have to sell your internal organs on the black market in order to afford it, but that’s *somebody’s* fault for not planning ahead.

Would you like some little tidbits on how to get your mail safely (and timely) from point A to point B? If not, stop reading here.

• Print legibly. It doesn’t matter how pretty that silver pen looks with your calligraphy writing and a snow flake dotting your eye (btw..something I totally would have done pre-post office...), if our machines can’t read it, it will sit for days until we can sort it manually.

• Make Sure the Address is Correct. Seems pretty standard, right? WRONG. We at the post office, are not mind readers (although many of my employees think they are…) Every part of the address is important, so put every part of the address in. The postal code/zip code is probably the most important part of the address, so make sure it’s there and make sure it’s clear.

• Put a Stamp on it. One woman ran out of stamps, so she taped 54 cents to the envelope. This is not okay.

• Do Not Send Cash. Yup…people still do this for reasons I will never understand. No, we're not going to steal it, but chances are yours will be the one card that gets snagged as you put it in the letterbox, run over by a semi truck, and ripped to shreds by a rabid dog that just attacked your mailman. A cheque you can cancel, a $20 bill is gone forever.

• Musical Cards SUCK. Last week, in addition to the humming and whistling, I had to listen to “Jingle Bells” for 8 hours because the card was malfunctioning and just kept playing over and over and over. If you really want to play Jingle Bells for your grandson this holiday season, call him and sing it to him over the phone.

• Give us Time. We’re human too, you know. We make mistakes. One letter going from Vancouver, BC to Vancouver, BC ended up bouncing from one part of the post office to another for 10 days before we actually got it out. It was just a comedy of errors, what can I say? It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Do you really want Great Aunt Martha to think you forgot her this holiday season? No, I didn’t think so.  Do as I say, and not as I do.  I have an *in* at the post office, so *fingers crossed* my Christmas cards won't get lost when I send them on Monday (or Tuesday...)

Okay, so any further questions? Check out this link…

http://www.canadapost.ca/cpo/mc/personal/holiday/default.jsf

The Tree

After two (!) trips to Wal-Mart for lights that work - grrrr...talk about frustration...what is it about Christmas lights that refuse to work? They've been sitting in a box all year.  They worked last year.  How do they not work this year?  And by the way...putting the lights on the tree is totally the man's job.  Wait...where was I?  Oh ya,  here's the finished product.

And here's a pic of the freak snow storm we experienced last week...

No google images here.  It's all me.  I know, right?  I should quit my day job and maybe take up photography.

Of Course Santa's Real...duh, He's Online...

We’re all busy. We all have gifts to buy and wrap, cards to mail, parties to host. On top of all that, we have the children to think of. Sometimes, Mommy just needs a break. 20 minutes to sit and enjoy a hot cup of coffee (or tea…or brandy…whatever - I don’t judge). Here are a few Christmas themed techie ways to entertain the little loves. Q has tried some of them and loves them. Plus, it’s educational…’cuz they’re on the computer and everything, and I’m all about educating our children…especially if it means I get 10 minutes more to myself. But seriously, it’s almost 2011…computers are everywhere. It’s important that our kids learn how to use them early.

My dad sent Q an e-mail message from Santa. This is probably one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Santa starts by welcoming your child, by name and then shows them around North Pole HQ. He throws in a reference to the beloved air hockey table (geez, now we’re totally screwed if *Santa* doesn’t deliver) and tells Q he needs to work extra hard at his reading!! Score! Q literally ran to bed tonight to read his story, and he did a pretty fine job, if I do say so. He got 100% on his spelling test today, too. Woot woot! I totally wish I could loom the Santa threat over him 365 days a year, because the tooth fairy doesn’t have the same pull. My dad sent it from http://www.portablenorthpole.ca/ although I’ve found that http://www.magicsanta.ca/ does the same thing. Best of all…free!!! Well, that and we had some bonding time while watching it together.

One of my *former* employees and a *current* friend sent us an Advent Calendar that you download to your computer. Every day, you click on the new day, and a beautiful Christmas scene pops up. Maybe you’ve heard of Jacquie Lawson’s artwork? I don’t know, but check it out at http://www.jacquielawson.com/. The icon for the calendar is this beautiful snow globe. The cost is minimal, and you can still send it (or download it yourself) now, because it’s retroactive. Q looks forward to each day’s new scene.

Have you ever elf’d yourself? I know, it sounds a) painful or b) dirty, but fortunately (or unfortunately) it’s neither. My brother sent this to us last year – he photoshopped my head, my mom’s head, Q’s head and his on these elves doing a Christmas Hoe-down. We laughed so hard, we cried. You can do a free version, or pay a bit and get the deluxe videos. It’s all here, folks at… http://www.elfyourself.com/.

On Christmas Eve, Q and I go to http://www.noradsanta.org/ and track Santa’s sleigh. It’s super exciting for Q to see where *Santa* is and how soon until he’ll be at our home. Last year, when he saw Santa was an hour away, he went to bed so that he wouldn’t be awake when he arrived. I’ve never seen him jump in bed so fast. You can click on different cities around the world and see *actual* footage of Santa delivering presents to all the good girls and boys.  If you go there now, you’ll find a count down already and your child can take a look at Santa’s village.

I bet my parents are wishing they had this stuff when I was a kid. Then my dad wouldn’t have had to climb on the roof and jump around pretending to be the reindeer, and my mom wouldn’t have had to eat 15 cookies and two glasses of milk (Santa’s a big guy…) Nah, to be honest with ya, I can’t ever remember believing in Santa. I remember pretending to believe, so the presents were still waiting for me under the tree…

Now, go enjoy your coffee while it’s still hot. The kids are good for at least another 15 minutes.

You’re welcome.

Again…

Mmmmmm, Turtle Doves Sound Yummy...

On the second day of Christmas, the company gave to me…employees that actually work. I know it’s often the little things in life that make us happy, isn’t it? Every year about this time, we hire employees just to work the Christmas rush. If they do well and impress us during the holiday season, then we invite them to come to work when volumes get high during the year (ie: tax time, back to school). If they still seem eager to work, about 5-10 years down the line, we offer them part time work. By the time they’re working full time, they’re crazy just like the rest of us. Anyways, they don’t know that yet, so they work really super hard. Here are some of the things they don’t do...

1. Hum. One of the employees who sits roughly ten feet from me hums. All. The. Time. And it sounds like old hymns – just like the ones they used to sing down south while picking cotton. I know you’re laughing. Try listening to it for 8 hours a day.

2. Whistle. Another employee whistles for 8 hours a day. I have this thing about whistling: The only person who enjoys whistling is the person who’s whistling. That means that everyone around them is not enjoying it. Christmas carols, commercial tunes, you name it…this guy whistles it. And he stops every time I get near, so I can’t confirm it’s him – ergo I can’t do anything about it.

3. Disappear. I have this one employee (who has a cane…this will become relevant in a mo’) who is at her station one second and the very next one, she is gone. Gone. I turn my head for a second and then have to spend the next 20 minutes looking for her. I’ve moved her to where I can see her from my desk.  I caught her once, waddling away just like a penguin.  You know where I found her?  In the gym.

4. Look Busy. Some employees work harder at looking like they’re busy. If only they actually were….

5. Cry. Well, they might cry when they get home. But at least they wait til they leave work. One gal cried her whole shift yesterday because she didn’t like where I made her work. Geez, if I did that…I’d be crying 8 hours a day/ 40 hours a week.

6. Sleep. When the hummer isn’t humming…she’s sleeping. It really sucks when they fall off their chair while sleeping because that means a whole heckuva lot of paperwork for me. This one employee falls asleep standing up. Now, I’ve been given the gift of ‘sleep’, but I could never, ever fall asleep while at work standing up.

7. Climb. I caught an employee climbing on company property last night, trying to adjust a fan. Now, to be honest, I don’t really care except….if he falls, again…a whole lotta paperwork for me. And then I get the, “you saw him standing on the table and didn’t do anything?” Hello? We’re all adults here.

9.  Fake Illnesses.  Again, I can't prove it...but come on, people.  Do you not understand the paperwork involved in faking illnesses?  It's ridiculous.  I know it gets you insane amounts of time off work, but most of you have 7 weeks anyways.  Do you really need more than 7 weeks off in a year? 

8. Whine and Complain About EVERYTHING. Okay, we all get paid a lot more money than we’re worth to do absolutely mundane work. Suck it up and deal. It’s not my fault you’re miserable. Do something about it. Just don’t complain to me. Okay? Okay.

Nope. My casuals work. As we speak, they’re all working hard sorting mail. No one’s asleep, no one is falling off their chair (they don't even get chairs).  Some of them don’t even know where the restrooms are located. I think we do that on purpose so they keep working. I mean, if they ask, we’ll tell them…

p.s. The whistling just started. I can’t even make out the tune…

There's no Partridge in this Pear Tree...

On the first day of Christmas, the company gave to me...a transfer to VPDC.  Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?  In the new year, I am the proud owner of a day shift supervisory position in our parcel hub.  Coincidentally, the parcel hub is 10 minutes from my home.  Do you know what this means?  Do you?  Do you?  It means no more hour and a half commutes to work, it means no more working through the night when normal people are sleeping.  It means having a (dramatic pause) life!  Well, to be accurate, as much of a life as I make for myself...but at least I'll have a normal schedule.  This is the first time, basically in my career, where I'll be working a normal 9-5 (or 7:45-3:45).  No more shift work, no more!  Take that, shift work, I say.

I think the most rewarding thing about being a supervisor is having some one else do all the work, while I get all the credit.  Wow.  I can't even say that tongue in cheek without feeling absolutely horrible.  It's not true.  It's funny, but it's not true.  It just happened to be a fabulous segue into this....

I've done all your Christmas Shopping research for you.  I've done the work, you reap the rewards.  Christmas has never been so easy, folks.  Be sure to leave your tips for a stress-less Christmas.  We can all be stress-free and merry (and even a little tipsy if we want, because we don't have to drive anywhere...)

1.  www.canadapost.ca/shopper is probably one of the most helpful Christmas shopping tools I have ever stumbled upon.  Again, I'm really not one to toot my company horn, but if you've ever needed to find oh, I don't know...a telescope for your six year old son who has forgotten he really, really, really wants one, maybe...this is the place for you.  It comparison shops at 100's of shops (on-line and in store) for the best deal, breaks it down by price, shipping, and in stock availability.  It's better than any search engine I've used, because it breaks it down in Canadian Funds.  I bought Q's telescope through there, and it was delivered to my house within three days.  It was also the cheapest (with shipping included) that I had seen.  I mean, Q is six.  And he still doesn't even remember that he wants one, so I'm not going to spend the earth on it.  But there is no use in it being crappy either, because then he really won't like it.  Plus, right now they've got a promotion on (because it's a new service) where you can win $2500.00.  Who's not up for that?  If you try it, say I sent you.  They'll have no idea who you're talking about.  Seriously, they won't.  But it would be super funny.

2.  What do you buy the person who has everything?  I know you think I'm going to say a *gift card* but you are so wrong...what a cop-out (unless you're buying for me and then, YAY!  I love gift cards...nothing says "I love you" like, "Here, go shopping.  It's on me!")  But I buy them box sets of DVD's.  My brother, who coincidentally does not have everything, quite the opposite...and yet he's still so hard to buy for, loves movies and such - so I got him the box set of HBO's Band of Brothers.  I haven't actually watched it, because it's all war and stuff, but I've heard it's really good.  http://www.amazon.ca/ is great for books and movies, because it comparison shops for you too.  New and used items, shipped through UPS within two business days.  Or how 'bout trying Barnes and Noble (ahem...to the right, nudge, nudge....)  I've heard they offer FREE SHIPPING!!

Have you noticed I haven't even gone into a store yet?  No pushy crowds, no fighting for the last size XXL sweater for great aunt Martha. 

3.  Also for the person who has everything (or nothing):  a Magazine subscription.  It's the gift that keeps on giving, really.  I love magazines.  I have a little affair with each new one I buy.  First I look at the pictures (from back to front), then read the articles (in order of interest) and then start from the beginning just in case I miss something.  How can this not be the best idea ever?  There is a magazine for everything and everybody.  Do you love horses?  They have "Horse Illustrated" just for you!  Crazy about cooking, and you're a vegetarian?  How about "Vegetarian Times Magazine"  FYI:  I've linked these magazines just so you know I'm not making up the titles.  Who knew, right?  Not me!  You don't have to set foot in a mall, and they get a nice little reminder of you, once a month for the next year.  What could be better?

4.  I am crazy about this next idea.  So often we get caught up in stuff...all the things at Christmas.  We forget those less fortunate than us.  Or we want to give, but don't know how.  This is the *how*...Through http://www.worldvision.org/ you can buy a family in a developing nation an animal.  Two goats can create a viable business for a family in a third world country.  Can you even imagine that?  One goat, for $75, can produce 16 cups of milk per day.  But it doesn't stop there.  There are choices!  You can buy ducks or chicks or sheep or even shares in a well for their community.  And you can donate it all in someone else's name.  How awesome is that?  For Christmas, I bought you a well in India.  Enjoy!

There are four very helpful suggestions...you're welcome very much.  If you've noticed, not one of them requires you to step foot out your front door, spend over $100.00, or talk to a human in any part of the process. 

What could be better than that? 

What are your ideas?

No. 

Seriously...

...what are your ideas?

I'm still not even close to being done...

Did you all notice how I could totally get a job as a late night host for the slap chop infomercials?  I think I'm a natural... And if you call within the next 5 minutes, I'll throw in an additional....

Fa la la la la la la la la

There is something about having a child around the holidays that makes me ten times more excited than I normally would.  And I guess I should clarify that when I say *having* a child, I don't mean birthing a child.  I can't imagine any time of the year that would make me excited about that unless storks do in fact deliver 2 year olds.  I mean that having a 6 year old around the house makes things exciting...makes Christmas exciting.  Our house looks like the North Pole opened up and puked in every single room.  To the outsider, it's probably absolutely gawdy, but I don't care.  I think it looks warm and inviting.  I'm sure our electricity bill is going to be through the roof.  Tonight the Christmas tree goes up and the theme will be "home for the holidays".  I've never been one to actually have a theme, you know like those black trees with purple birds and silver tinsel; or the white trees with fluorescent blue and pink balls;  mine have always been homemade ornaments on a beautiful green tree.  Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas with pink and purple and black and white. 

A few changes this year.  Instead of mailing a letter to Santa, Q decided to send him an e-mail.  Welcome to the age of technology, where 6 year olds are sending e-mails to Santa.  Now, I'm not gonna lie, this was way less time consuming for me.  I didn't have to spell every single word out, forget to mail it, and then have to write a letter from "Santa" on Christmas eve and pop it in the mailbox.  I will tell you that was probably the best letter that Q ever received though, the year I forgot to mail his letter.  It was brilliant.  Anyways, not like I'm trying to plug my workplace or anything, but if you'd like to send your Santa note by e-mail, http://www.canadapost.ca/ has a link for kids.  They can write an e-mail to Santa (you have to put in an adult's e-mail address to receive a response), play Christmas themed games, like matching the gifts or helping Santa navigate through the sky to deliver presents.  

Q is also covering his bases, and I'm not sure why he's decided to do it this way, but he's decided to give Santa his requests using different avenues.  In the e-mail, he asked for a Nintendo DS game (that I don't even think exists, but whatever...it's Santa, right?  He can make anything in the North Pole...).  Then his dad's work Christmas party was yesterday, and Santa made a guest appearance - Q asked for the air hockey table.  Next, he wrote a hand written list that included a Webkinz and Beyblades (which I'm still trying to figure out.  Unfortunately, I don't think that *Santa* will be bringing him those this year...)  I'm wondering if maybe he's beginning to question the validity of Santa, and figures that just to be sure, he'll leave little hints everywhere.    Notice that nowhere has he asked for a telescope.  I wonder if I should remind him how much he really, really wants one.

Another change - I haven't made my cards this year.  Between supervising the world, winning the Mother of the Year Award and sleeping, I've decided that it would be a little overkill to make my cards.  I value my sanity, even moreso after losing it a time or two, so instead I bought these cards that *look* like I made them.  It's brilliant,  no one will be the wiser.  Truthfully, I don't make them for everybody else.  I make them for me, it's a creative outlet.  But creativity is at a premium this year, so just be thankful you've received one at all.

Along the lines of sanity, I've decided to throw a Christmas party this year.  There's just something about a big house, gawdy decorations and December that make you want to do just that.  It's going to be small, just a couple of my really close friends who would love a party even if there was laundry in the living room, greeted them in my jammies, and served Macaroni for dinner.  That's what makes it even more rewarding to make little sandwiches and gift baskets and such.  Spending time with these girls rejuvenates me, renews my spirit, and helps me realize we're all a little crazy and that's okay.

So, turn up the Christmas tunes.  If you're in the Vancouver area, 103.5 QMFM and 106.3 Praise FM are both playing all Christmas music All. The. Time.  It's a horrible luxury.  Seeing as how we've been listening to it since the third week of November.  I'm humming jazzy renditions of every Christmas carol ever sung.  Every one who's anyone has done a Christmas Album.  Makes me want to do one too.  Then, maybe then, I will have made it, too.

p.s.  Have you notice the blog has changed for the holidays as well?  What can I say, a girl gets bored working midnights...